Our lifelong dependence on one
another puts relationships at the core of our existence. Once, there was
attraction….. The attraction between a man and a woman to which we owe our
existence. As social animals we have a passionate need to belong and connect
with others in enduring and passionate relationships. This we seek all through
life. From our infancy till death; humans seek to have a relationship that
he/she knows nothing about.
No child knew his parents before
birth but a bond is created that the existence of that child is glued to the
relationship between the child and the parent. Even before the child; parents
were once strangers who felt there was more to life than living alone. The bond
of love has led to children, whose survival chances are boosted by the
nurturing of two bonded parents who supports one another. “Two good hands are
better than one” a phrase built on interdependency and one starts to ask, where
do I go from here? Where will I meet him or her that would be the ideal life partner
that I function perfectly with?
Everywhere people actually hope for
love and close relationships that can preoccupy our thinking and colour our
emotions. We crave into finding a supportive soul mate in whom we can confide,
feel accepted and prized.
For the heartbroken, widows, jilted
and the sojourner in a strange world; the loss of social bond triggers pain, solitude
or withdrawal. Everyday people twinge for their own people and the war we see
the world experiencing; started from the foundation of NO LOVE between a man
and a woman.
The world is built on love but
nowadays love is economic and cosmetic. Intimate relationships make us
healthier and happier. Survey shows that single people are more likely to react
irrationally than people with partners. Although some have partners but are
still single. When the bond is not there…… you are single.
When I’m not near the one I love; I love
the one I’m near. Reading this and you ask yourself …… who is likely going to
say this in a relationship, a boy or a girl? In my pursuit for a life partner I
read so many books, attended so many crusades, listened to so many seminars, pay
attention at so many conferences and church programs seems the best. I hit the
gym three times a week and my cosmetics were on point. I did all to be the best
of me, so that he can locate me on time. Personal beauty is a greater
recommendation than any letter of introduction. This I knew and I worked it
out. But where would you meet him or better where would he meet you?
.jpg)
PROXIMITY: where do you live? Where do
you work? Where do you go to? Who are your friends? And who are you looking
for? Most times people complain of not being attached to the right person when
they are at the wrong place. I have learnt a lot in this short life I’ve lived
and sincerely I am out here to share with you. The first step in locating the
right guy is to be at the right place. The world is a global village right now
but don’t expect to date Denzel Washington just because you see his movie in
Jos. Closeness is a factor you cannot underestimate. Proximity brings
interaction. You mustn’t travel out of your location to meet him but open all
channels before you meet the right guy. They would come lying to you about love
but until you have him under your armpit you don’t succumb to any man’s urge.
I dated eleven guys and slept with an
extra three before I found the right guy. He was all along in my face but I didn’t
see him. We knew ourselves but we weren’t close. The first mistake I made was
that I didn’t know who I was looking for. I was working out something that
could help me in managing whoever comes. The experiences I’ve shared had crammed
me into a shell as a loser but the liberation was nearer than I thought.
Humility could be a form of pride
sometimes… same with me. I used the beauty I posses as a form of pride while
smiling at everyone in humility. Felicia Agodi is a name that men move away
from. Subconsciously everyone believes that I must have the best guy in the
world to manage the skin providence has given me coupled with the figure I grew
into. I forgot that everything I saw on myself I didn’t make it and God kept it
there just for one guy in this world. From secondary school days everyone knew I
was beautiful. It sang in my ears until I knew. My entrance into the university
was greeted by stunning looks and poses that I have earlier rehearsed at home. Both
students and lectures wanted to have me but I wasn’t really available which I blamed
myself for afterwards.
My first boyfriend was Olamide. He is
an intelligent guy and also a rich kid. A complete human being to me. A guy every
lady wants to introduce to the next lady as my man. To me Olamide loves me more
than my present husband but teenage love was always the dumbest.
I walked out of the lecture-theater after a
boring GST (general studies) sermon and needed a cab home. I was feeling sticky
within my legs and I felt I needed a shower sooner. I stood under the shades of
tree the university had provided while expecting a car drive close. A guy
tapped me from the back, wearing a white t shirt and hanging his shirt on his
shoulder like a tout. I was pissed he could even touch me. I turned and like
what does he want. He calmed me down as he said: don’t turn and create a scene,
but I pulled my shirt to give you because I think you are on your period and
you are stained. I wanted to turn to check but there were people in front of
me. He gave me his shirt to cover the mess and told me to wait for him to bring
his car so that he could drive me to my hostel. I was ashamed and imagined how
many had seen it. I hopped into the front seat when I entered his car and couldn’t
look him in his face. Then Olamide started his stories. I have never felt a man
talk like that before. It was a long gist that it took him coming into my room
that day and his conviction was great. But I followed the rules …………
Rule no 1: when you’re still young;
never give him a smooth sail but when a little old always give him a trial.
.jpg)
