DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY PART 9

His facial expression showed anger, I wondered; could he be setting this up with his mum? And what do they intend to gain. I started doubting the whole facade of hospitality being rendered by the Archjues. They’ve just been leading me on a trail to a slaughter, and now they’ve achieved it. He walked to us and gave me a hug.

I felt warm a little once more.

Hope you’ve heard all mum told you he asked? 

At this point I knew it was all a plan. When did he know about this? We slept in the same room, and your mum didn’t talk to you in the middle of the night, or thereabout but I said yes.

We walked into our room together and I was in the shower in a bit, to think alone, not to really clean up.  What more could I have of myself? I thought. 

DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY PART 8

I asked what the problem was… never mind I’ll sort it out with madam he said. I thought to myself, how come you’ll sort out my problems, if any, with another person. But I wasn’t a full member of this family and my approach to the doctor might be a form of reprisal to them thus I kept my shut in anticipation.

We slept in the same room: on the biggest bed I’ve ever seen, big enough to contain six adults, with a vent I tried to locate. The room was just cold and there was no air conditioner anywhere my sight. I complained in the middle of the night on how cold it was and he reduced the flow but I still didn’t see the vent. 

Lawrence had a lovely sleep, I watched him sleep but I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking. I just thought to myself, why do ladies have to go through such humiliation in getting married to a man that initially approached them. I didn’t walk up to Lawrence, he did. So why must I be at the parent’s mercy. A thought came to my head; I’ll call off the relationship at the slightest provocation from Lawrence and see if he really loves me. If he comes after me…. then….. Then what I thought. In these episodes of thought I suddenly remembered I was “AS”. Could the mother come after us with our genotype as a problem? I know Lawrence is not “SS” but if he is also “AS”, then we stand a chance of giving birth to a child that would be “SS”. I did all the permutations in my head and immediately felt like calling my friend, Dr Linda. 

It was 4.30 am and I’ve not closed my eyes for once. I needed morning to come so that I can plan my next move. I became optimistic in my thought: how would I manage the conglomerate of companies when the parents are gone to the land beyond. I would be the woman to question anyone who is interested in marrying my son in the next thirty years. The pride of the Archujes’s crown of motherhood would be worn by me. The world would know ‘there was a woman who came, who saw and conquered’.

DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY PART 7

 It seems to me the world would collapse when I meet them. The prestigious Archujes would be expecting a Tracy. I knew levels have changed but I wasn’t sure I wanted this level. I became a little more prayerful and called my mum more often. She started giving me some feminine skills of dealing with mother in law and how to behave, remember the daughter of whom you are was always the concluding line like our name was on Google. My pastor in Benin prayed for me through the phone and told me all will be well. All those encouragements and counseling was about to be met with the best or worst mother in law to be in the world I told myself.

Days became faster and nights quickly faded. It seems the end was coming but I knew if I could jump this hurdle, life can never frown at me again. It was Thursday, a day to go and I started feeling I shouldn’t go see them anyways. Lawrence is practically scared of his mother. All the stories I’ve heard about her, makes her another Margaret Thatcher. Here I am, a lady that usually loves to play away in freedom, about to be tied down in matrimony of wealth and honour, thus I’ll be enslaved for life. With all these pains and thoughts roaming my mind I was supposed to be scared but I didn’t care. I was ready for the unexpected.  Worst of all, she’ll mess the whole meeting up and I’ll move on with life. I packed our things in the same box but when he came back from work he told me we have to use two boxes. I asked why that? And he said we can’t pack our clothes together except we are married. I acted as if I wasn’t surprised. I  made two boxes available.

I couldn’t sleep all through the night. I created memories of Mrs. Archuje in my mind. I totally forgot there was a father in the house. Subconsciously I was working out a rehearsal on how my behaviour would be when I meet her. All my expectations of this woman were cut short at our first meeting.

The mansion had a long lawn of pure green grass set before it. The cars were scattered and I didn’t want to stare too well for me not to be noticed. Many workers were roaming around in their uniforms till we got the entrance. We were greeted by two butlers and one mentioned my name. Is that a good sign? A bad sign? The front door was opened as we walked into the house. We met the dad with two faces i usually see on TV. It was later I knew it was Seun Otedola and Mustapha magairi. I knelt on two knees to show respect as the man told pulled me up.  My daughter welcome home he said. How was the journey? It was good daddy, still trying to pull myself together. The gesture of welcome made me know I was here to settle. But I messed up, I would have dressed better.

This is my son’s fiancée and we are expecting a grandchild soon. With the introduction I knew the family had accepted me before I even came. All they needed was a meeting. The man in sparkling white native attire (otedola) asked for my name and I told him Tracy, he went further by asking for my surname….. Just to check the background. I was not bothered as he ended up not knowing it. I walked from the lobby intro a stadium size sitting room, with five settees in different corners. The TVs were like projectors, with a chandelier denoting wealth.  Daddy’s big picture was hung on the right side and beside his picture I saw the image of the woman I’ve been scared of meeting. The whole consent of fear was now gone, with the acceptance accosted me. We walked through the sitting, opening a door to another passage and saw mummy coming down the stairs.  Immediately my sight caught up with her, I got on my knees once more to greet her and she pulled me up, with a smile saying my daughter, I’m so happy to meet you. With a soft voice, she said welcome and I suddenly felt like crying.

I have just deprived myself all the sleep in the world for a woman this loving. She gave her son a pat on the back and escorted me into the glorious dining room. All food was set like I was hungry and she held my hand as we sat next to each other. Lawrence’s mother had a regal air about her. She looks solid and dependable. She controls everything in that big mansion and it’s obvious she extends to the business. She’ll be a good mother in law I guessed. She asks Lawrence to excuse us and he willingly left the room with a wink as if it was well. She turned to me and the other door opened. 

The father stepped in and sat close to us and I knew I was about to go through an inquisition. So you and Lawrence are planning to get married right? I was disturbed by this statement. Were they expecting a no? Yes I said. You and Lawrence haven’t known yourselves that much, have you? Long enough, for us to know we love ourselves. Love, she asked with a bewitched smile as she adjusted her seat. Tracy, to be sincere to you, Lawrence’s news came to us as a surprise. And of course, he would have told you of Amina?  She continued explaining the wealth in the other family also and salted the injury she was creating in my mind. It lasted a while, till she said if Lawrence ends up with a stand it’s you he wants, there is nothing we can do about it. I said a loud thank you and breathed a sigh of relief.

The moment ended with the entrance of Lawrence and the family doctor. 

He was introduced to me and I was like what are these people doing. I just had a trip to your house and you want to do a check up the first day? The doctor called me for counseling after dinner and gave me rules of carrying a baby in Archuje’s family. From now on, no more strenuous work, he’ll come up with a diet plan and I’ll have to change my wardrobe to free the baby in the tummy. I started feeling like Princess Diana. He laid me on a bed and checked the vitals. He ended by asking for my genotype and I told him “AS”. He looked at me in surprise and shook his head in disappointment, and then I knew there was likely a problem…….

 

DIARY OF A SINLGE LADY PART 6

Can’t be a punch bag for him. You might think Lawrence is a woman beater, noooo far from it; the experiences are more psychological than physical. I kept in touch with Lawrence even after the service so well. He is one guy I fell for after all my escapades in Benin City but the fun of it is that he lives in Abuja. Shortly, I was through with school and my graduation was attended by Lawrence and some of his friends. He bought me a Rolex wrist watch for my graduation and a set of bags. I didn’t know the worth then. I felt like a queen and the pains of all heartbreaks I’ve suffered in the school was all gone. He helped me work my service to Abuja and it took nothing than a phone call for me to be posted to the company of “his” choice. Three weeks in camp was enjoyed by everyone but me. All I had was four days in camp and it was with all apologies.  I hardly went to work because I needed to satisfy my man in all things before any other thing.

He never shows off like who he is, and never makes any hum on what he can do. He was more than I saw. He respected my family like he has paid my bride price and he calls my mum even more than I do.

 The Archuje family is one of the wealthiest families in Africa with the greatest investment house in the country. They own a bank, a university and properties governors cannot afford. I lost control on behaviour with my introduction to this wealth. The friends I have today are based on my relationship with Lawrence. No matter how cautious you are, if you are not born into royalty, you’ll mess up. It took a short while for me to know a lot of Lawrence, sincerely he was an establishment. In six months I was in eleven countries with him, I loved the managerial work I was doing. Four African, three European, Two Asian, two American countries welcomed me. The real me was now being established by a man I’ll bear his name for the rest of my life. I tried to caution my thought all through the relationship but the ecstatic feeling always overwhelms me. 

Lawrence was the most punctilious person I’ve ever known. I had once been fifteen minutes late for a dinner and his displeasure had spoilt the evening. You don’t go late for events because of makeup he always said. He made love the same way he lived his life: meticulously and very properly. Once, I had decided to be daring and unconventional in bed, and had so much shocked Lawrence that I began secretly to wonder if I were some sex maniac. He was neat to a fault and everything needed attention. He is so analytical in reasoning that I feel like not telling some things.  We could deliberate on a missed call for an hour or why are you awake by five am. With all these I loved him and he knew.

The pregnancy had been unexpected, and when it happened I was filled with uncertainty. Lawrence had not brought up the subject of marriage, and I didn’t want him to feel he had to marry me because of the baby. I wasn’t certain if I could go through with an abortion but sincerely who wouldn’t want to be a mother of an Archuje. I decided to break the news to Lawrence after telling mummy. Mummy didn’t feel any bad to my surprise. She encouraged and raised my spirit.  We had dinner at dunes continental restaurant and Lawrence sense of humor was extreme this particular day. He had greeted some Lebanese friends and two Alhajis on our way, thus I knew we were not there alone. I suddenly forgot my rehearsed speech as we started eating and wildly blurted out “I’m so sorry, Lawrence I’m ---- pregnant”.

There was an unbearable long silence and as I was about to break it, Lawrence said, “We’ll get married of course”. I was filled with a sense of enormous relief. I don’t want you to think I …… you don’t have to marry me Tracy, Lawrence said: he raised a hand to stop me from talking and slowly whispered “I want to marry you”. Tracy you’ll be a wonderful wife he added. Although my father and mother would be a bit surprised.” he smiled as he walked to the other side of the table bent on one knees and kissed my tummy. I love you Tracy. For the first time he raised his voice as he called the waiter. Serve champagne to everyone I’m expecting a baby.

When we got home I quietly asked why would your parents be surprised? Lawrence sighed. “Darling I’m afraid you don’t quite realize what you are letting yourself into. The Archujes always marry their own kind. I guessed they’ve already selected a wife for you. That doesn't matter; it’s whom I want that really counts. We’ll go see them next weekend, it’s time you meet mum and dad……

DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY PART 5

Worrisome, suddenly I felt I wasn’t supposed to be here. Osahon’s sister greeted her obokhian (welcome) as she approached. She looked at me and hissed as she walked pass us. Oshaon’s sister asked me if I knew her cousin before, which I denied because that was the first thing that came to my mind. I needed to leave the house immediately but why am I leaving? Lots of thought roam my mind but I know that day must pass.

Osahon walked back with his cousin and the interrogation started. He called me as he walking closer to us and I answered him. He asked me with an annoying tone if I knew his cousin and I said yes. This time I was ready for anything that was coming. He asked what the relationship between me and his cousin was and I told him to ask the cousin. He said I disrespected him with the tone and approach and I told him I’ve never been degraded like what he is doing to me right now. Standing me up and sitting with his cousin to interrogate me.

Eghosa was Nnamdi’s best friend; everybody thought they were dating until Eghosa started dating Fred. The school is a big society but any clique you fall into becomes part of you and it seems you knew everyone. I hated men after Femi’s incidence, all I did was academics. I tried covering up for times I missed and after him, close to seven months this guy finally caught my attention.

Prior to him when a guy says hi, it sounds like an insult to me. I knew they were not to be trusted so there was no need to listen at all. I polished my person that people felt I was a snub. I had strictly female friends and suddenly I discovered everybody knew about guys but me. Anyway I’ve had my share.

Nnamdi stays in B quarters, so I see him almost every day on my way to Ekosodin. He is an Igbo boy that grew up in Lagos thus his behaviour was not that conc. Onitsha boy’s behaviour. He was cream to a point and had the swag for any lady want to sit in his front seat. We became close at the detriment of many other girls including Eghosa. I took their position in his life without accepting to date him. The guy was dying for me but I’ll rather come to his burial than date him. He was my ATM, my driver, a shoulder I can lay on, my cafeteria, in short once I need it they are there with Nnamdi’s name. I was really considering him for the future but he came too early. And this season, I was building back my virginity that has been destroyed by that devil called Femi. Eghosa has seen me many a times in Nnamdi’s room, in different position and postures that are incriminating, but all those were to pursue those girls. Those memories were what she was reporting to her cousin. She said I use men and dump them and coincidentally I haven’t slept with his brother. He has just been doing good things for me which I didn’t demand anyway.

In front of his cousin and his sister he started the questioning once again, this time I carried my bag and I told him I was leaving. He asked if I was walking out of him….. This conversation is over to the best of my knowledge. If you lack respect for ladies, go learn it and come back. As I dashed to the gate, his sister ran towards me and held me begging me not to leave or rather we should go together. I told her not to worry, that she should call me for us to see the next day.

At this point I started thinking about how to overcome this jinx of not getting the right guy. I was bored, had just one course to graduate, had no business I was doing, can’t just go home and seat then I told myself I need  a single’s church and three churches came to my mind

·         Citizens of heaven

·         Church unusual

·         Firm foundation 

They are the popular young people’s church and next Sunday caught up with me in JBS estate GRA Benin city for the wonderful worship in church unusual. It was really an unusual service, all the pastors prayed for future partners as if they were expecting me. I even sowed a seed that day. It was the third Sunday of attending when I saw Lawrence. Auntie asked: the same Lawrence, yes the same one you know. So you met him in a church? Yes o auntie. He came for a conference in Benin that spanned into the next week so he came to church and that has been the closest to marriage until can of worms were opened at both sides.

Lawrence was the only child of his parents. His father is a billionaire and his mother is looking for a queen to help manage his only son. It looked rosy outside but auntie what I went through with Lawrence, even Mother Theresa wouldn’t go through it. It was pleasure and pain all the way and till today mummy feels I’m not just subjective to men and that no woman survives marriage without being subjective to her husband. Everyman wants to marry a wife not a slave. How can I go through school for five years, graduate with a second class upper to end it up at the mercy of one man’s pride and ego. Lawrence learned boxing in Birmingham when he was schooling so he likes practicing at home and I …………..

DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY PART 4

I didn’t respond the first time, the voice asked again, please is this Tracy, I said yes confidently. She continued, I’m Paulina, Bunmi’s friend. I just want to let you know he has seen the invitation card you left on his system and he is so broken. He didn’t expect that from you, after showing so much love to him and you are planning to get married to someone else. He is going to his cousin’s place in Akenzua to stay anyway. I’ve heard so much about you so I thought I should let you know. I didn’t say a word till the line went off and I felt like a bad girl at first until I started feeling what I did was wrong.  I concluded in my mind, men should be taught some lessons sometimes. 

Auntie Feza sat up concentrating on my story; she asked what now happened afterwards? I couldn’t sleep, I told Imade about what happened and she said I should go to Bunmi’s house the next day to check up on him, maybe after work. I should tell him what I saw on his computer and let him know I just fabricated the invitation card. If a man can break down for you, he really loves you. By 6 am I was out of my hostel to Bunmi’s house, I would call him from his house, so he would come back home and meet me and I’ll appeal to his person. I opened the gate and entered the compound. I saw his car and pity came upon me meaning he cannot even drive. I sat at the stairs and dialed his number which to my surprise was ringing inside the house. 

Shit, he left his phone at home, which means my walk to his house was in vain. I was about ending the call when he just picked. I stepped away from the building as I heard his voice. He sounded down again and continued baby what have I done to deserve this? I asked him where he was, and he told me he had to go to his cousin’s place to sleep because he has lost composure. I told him to open his door. Bunmi I’m calling from your door and I can hear your voice inside. He ended the call and in thirty seconds the front door was opened. Yes what do you want? What’s the meaning of the question? I pushed Bunmi aside and walked into the house to check who was there and I saw Imade’s roommate sleeping on the couch in the sitting room. So Justina is the girl that called me yesterday and she is the person causing me all these problems. I slapped her into waking up as she screamed from her dream.

 I was expecting Bunmi to come inside to explain this all thing but he didn’t. I was about pounding on her but I felt I should tell her roommate (Imade) so I picked up my phone to call her and to my surprise it rang inside Bunmi’s room. I walked toward Bunmi’s door and slowly opened it. Praying to God Imade shouldn’t be there and all should just be an assumption but reality stood in front of me as my very good friend sat on my Bunmi’s bed and greeted me good morning. What are you doing here I asked? I should be asking you that she said. Can’t you understand if a man doesn’t feel you any longer? I removed my slippers and stoned her on the bed. I was running into the bathroom to carry bucket and pour water on her but the used condoms on the floor slipped me and I fell on my head, I was in the hospital for the next two months. Auntie Feza’s scream of Jesus! Called my mum’s attention and we told her it was the intensity of our gist that caused the scream. Mummy there is no problem we said and she left. Auntie, that’s why I had an extra year in school, Men are wicked so much that Bunmi didn’t call one day to check on me.  Imade stayed with me all through and begged me so well. I’ve not forgiven her till today but she’s not aware.

Dr Osahon was wonderful keeping my health as a priority to him. He’s always there to check on me, paid for some drugs, facilitated my discharge and helped me get my mind back. He encouraged me believing in myself and he introduced me to Christ embassy. Edo boys are spoilers. Their chauvinistic potentials are enjoyable only in the beginnings if you stay too long hmmmmm. Osahon was doing his residency at the prestigious university of Benin teaching hospital and he is a brilliant guy but he is too traditional and the first day in his family house caused the next problem. He had been on my case for seven months now. I’m really not interested in any guy’s issues again. I’ve learnt my lessons and I believe God’s time is the best, but I believed something afterwards…. God doesn't bother Himself about things like that. 

One significant thing I have learned this period is when to let go.  In the past, I would hold on to relationships, friendships and other things way past their expiration dates.  Over this past year, I have learned that some things are worth fighting for and some things are not.  Some things are worth having a discussion about and some things are not.

 Change is a difficult thing, especially for me.  But I am learning to embrace it, one step at a time. Osahon’s sister sat me down and told me to gist her how I met her brother. Immediately Bunmi’s memories struck me again as the back door opened and the sight I saw was …………….