DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY PART 3

This particular episode of heartbreak was so extreme, that I lost track of reality. I didnt know what iIwas doing again. I packed my things and said bye casually. I sang over 300 christian songs trying to cover up the pain. The concept called university and love was unveiling itself to me now clearer and the element of trust was lost completely.

Thinking of this particular event again on my birthday caused me a new form of pain. It became even worse when Auntie Feza mentioned the neighbour, another Yoruba boy I thought!!! never. I've had enough experience with them and it was over. I told my Auntie that all i'm thinking of right now is how to make money. We walked into the courtyard with a glass of wine each and i gave her Bunmi's experience.

Bunmi was another example of a good person. he is an element of responsibility. a product of a professor as a father and medical doctor as a mum. I met Bunmi the day he lost his job. banks were retrenching and he was a victim. I was in my final year. after femi's episode Bunmi was the next yoruba boy i was a casualty to. He offered me a ride which i took with all pleasure. this time i now was a little wild. I knew what guys wanted and i was ready to offer to whomever i please. if you like me you are in trouble cos my mind has lost love. we started talking as he offered to go drop me in school , a route out of his way. i said thank you as i weighed him if he was worth it. he spoke very good english as he started his sermon. I just  lost my job. I said sorry like what the fcuk. am i supposed to cry? he continued that he was going to church to thank God cos something better was coming. I loved his optimism as we continued talking. somehow we exchanged numbers and we bacame friends. he made uniben his other home as he prided in me.

Auntie, I called uncle gerald to help Bunmi get a job and he did. I loaned him money to buy a better car and never asked him for money because I wanted him to be able to save. he took over me and started building a wedding euphoria in me. Sometime in February that year, exactly two days to Valentine’s Day. I had made preparations ahead of time and even visited exclusive supermarket to buy some costumes that would make sex on the 14th memorable.

 In retrospect maybe I wanted to get pregnant that day because I didnt want mummy to say no to our union. He calls me all sorts of sweet names, he doesnt have to pick calls dodging somewhere. he doesnt lie, athletic and careful in spending. In short he was a smooth criminal

    February 12, was a day I will remember for a long time to come. I was in my so called fiancé's apartment all day because I was typing my project. I was to submit chapter one and two the following week. I got bored of academic work so I decided to browse the internet and chat with friends on facebook.

I picked up his modem from the room and tried to open facebook. I noticed he did not sign out and his own page opened. I wanted to close it but I got curious because of the porn pop ups and revelations to come. I decided to read his facebook messages. This would turn out to be the most shocking revelation I have ever received in my life. He had a generic message that read something like “hello princess can I meet you, please add me”.  Once the girl adds him, he would start chatting with her, exchange phone numbers and fix time to meet so they can have “fun”.

    In total there were more than 50 girls he had this facebook exchanges with. One of the girls asked him, why he was looking for a woman so badly, he said because she is very special. he told them where he keeps condom and things in his room. I saw mails from some names I recognized on his phone. People he claimed he did not know. After this, I became so angry.

   I started searching his apartment for anything I might have missed. I saw a lady’s underwear, a packet of cigarette (he claims he doesn’t smoke) and over 100 packets of condoms of different flavors. I started shaking vigorously; my world was crumbling again. How did I not know that he even smokes? Who lies about smoking? I was going to marry this guy! I lost all sense of feeling at that point. Tears was about rolling down my cheeks when I rememered who I was. Tracy never cries again. I was getting confused. What should I do now? I thought for a while as i called dave. In five minutes he sent me a message that would change the relationship between me and Bunmi for the rest of our lives. dave sent it as a mail and i left it on the screen as i left the house, leaving the laptop on.

He closes by five o clock, so by six he would be at home,  I placed my phone beside me and as a ritual it rang just five minutes before six. To my surprise, a girl spoke on the other end of the line asking "are you Tracy" and that changed everything............

DIARY OF A SIGLE LADY PART 2

 

      This was the first time a very handsome guy was approaching me. He did it in the presence of my parents like it was his right. My mum laughed and told him to be taking care of me. Femi is in 400 level computer engineering. After the matriculation, it took a little conviction for me to accept everything he offered. I’ve just returned to my room, when Femi came with a car only parents drive. Tracy lets groove on it’s your day…. I jumped into one the clothes I’ve been saving, looking like a masquerade patiently waiting to display its talents. Everyone’s wish was the day shouldn’t end, we never knew it was laziness that was functional within us that produced those thoughts. I and Imade ended our own at the club party Femi took us to. He was also with a friend Bruce. We were grooving like we were promised a million for the best dancer. All along I knew today will not repeat itself and if it does I will live it again. I drank like a fool and later fooled myself all for this day.

I woke up the next in someone’s arm, wearing a shirt that doesn’t belong to me. His mouth odour was so irritating and I could not perceive the presence of comfortability. Immediately I knew I’ve been reaped from the previous night’s drink. He opened his eyes and was about kissing me as he said baby, I blocked him and told him I had to leave, like I knew where I was. Femi knelt close to me in confidence and told me he was sorry if I felt bad bringing me to his house but he couldn’t take me bad to my hostel in that state I was yesterday.

He had changed my clothed for me, cleaned me and my vomit, gave me a cloth to wear, laid me on the bed, watched me wake up and still apologized to me for my wrong doings. I have never seen anybody like that before. Even my mum would not love me that much. He pets me like I was his missing rib. Every wrong thing i did ended with a smile. For the first time I loved the masculine gender next to me and Femi was his name. Confident of his behavior, in less than two weeks we were sexually involved and we became sex animals. I’ve just changed from that small naïve girl that got admitted 5 weeks ago to a lady who now knows the anatomy of a man. Imade was taking things too hard for Bruce. She didn’t want to fall into wrong hands (like any hand was right), her experience was worse than mine.

 I have most of my things in Femi’s house. I can’t imagine sleeping alone when I have a chest to lie on. The mouth odour was now what I kissed every morning. I concentrated on him more than my studies, he screams at me like he needed me to be really successful. It was an adventure I never wanted to end but as faith would have it, i found the truth before the end of the semester. It was a cold night and rain just fell. I made rice for him and his friends so carrying a cooler and my bag wasn’t easy. There was no light off campus and getting a bike to his house was very difficult. I took a stroll and in 15minutes I was at 19th street in BDPA estate. He was outside with his friends drinking and smoking Indian hemp (I never knew then though). I stopped to listen to what they were saying and my own Femi opened his mouth to say: Tracy de try sha, she sabi collect, any angle, but me don tire. Meaning I’m just a sex tool. I choose not to believe until he said Vera is coming next week and I must break up before then. Bruce what can I do? They started deliberating on how to throw me out forming there was a quarrel. I started crying, thinking of what I did wrong. I didn’t know the animal called man could change his behavior without reasons.

 I stepped into the compound pushing the pedestrian gate, and they all shouted who goes there. I said Tracy and Femi stood up passing the weed to his friend. He hurriedly walked to me, hugged me and collected the cooler of food. He asked why I didn’t call for him to come pick me. And that next time it was better I called before coming home because he might be out. I still could hear over and over that I’m a tool to be used. I tried holding it back but immediately he opened the front door I burst into tears. Femi held my hands and pulled my head up, asking me what was wrong. I sobbed a while before telling him all I’ve heard them say and to my surprise he started laughing. Saying the Tracy wasn’t me, it was someone else; he wasn’t the one talking and started putting the blame on me, saying that means I don’t trust him. I stopped weeping and stupidly started apologizing to him. 

His phone rang and the name that showed was Vera but with this episode, I couldn’t complain further. After the call he turned to me and said,  baby you have to go back to school, my elder sister is coming……..

DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY PART 1

DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY

You call him sweetheart or baby with lovely responses and subconsciously you’ve built your entirety around him but lately you are beginning to wonder whether he may be “the one”. You know that a lifetime commitment should not be taken lightly. The question is, is he really a husband material?

Ever since I was a little girl, I created a world of knowing how my husband looks like. I made a list: handsome, smart, tall, rich, romantic, built… The list went on and on. The truth is, I didn’t know what was important in a husband. I dated several guys that satisfied all of my requirements. Yet, I did not want to marry them. Gradually, I started cluing in to what really matters.

If you’ve ever been in a serious and long relationship before you are not likely to be alien to what I’m talking about. The feelings and affection grow to a point and new habits start coming up. You start wondering if he is originating these habits or they were hidden before.

Quarrels take days to get settled, no breakfast in bed, he starts thinking of you as a washing machine, he keeps you at home and he goes out to nurture his manhood with alcohol and sometimes other girls I presume and his useless friends would never stop making jest of you by respecting you every time they see you by calling you ‘mama’ as if they don’t know their mother…….this is Tracy’s experience

One must be the height of failure to have failed in one’s fantasies. Same with me in what I’ve built as a castle of affection in a relationship that would last forever. We would be best of friends; the father of my children, the pride of my womanhood, subconsciously I’ve changed my surname to his but all these were mere fantasies.

I have moved from nearly married to extreme single right now. The whole world crumbled on me and my heart was shattered beyond repairs. I lost the reality of settlement and was trapped in the euphoria of singlehood until I discovered it was my 30^th birthday

“How old are you now “

“How old are you now “

“How old are you now Tracy

“How old are you now

It immediately clicked in my head I was 30 years old and I had more babies at my party than adults. All my friends came with an average of 2 children and I’ m yet to find Mr. Right. With a smiling face I knew I was in some trouble with the entrance of my mummy and auntie Feza. The whole fun of birthday is about to be changed to advice on my singlehood like I really forgot. With a craspy voice my auntie excused me from the sitting room into the kitchen. We sat at the dining table in the kitchen to have a chat. I knew where we are driving at anyway but morals keep you listening. The sermon went on again into when are going to get settled? Don’t tell me you don’t have anyone you are thinking of? It became unbearable when she told me she was going to introduce me to one of her neighbours” he’s a divorcee”

Is being single a disease or what. I wonder what the men in Nigeria are waiting for. They subconsciously have lost the sense of responsibility God gave to them in settling down. They are just in the habit of sleeping around, promising you heaven on earth and afterwards breaking your heart. I walked back into the sitting room to join my friends who are felicitating with me. One after the other their husbands started coming to pick them and I knew the talks from the two old women in my house is about to begin again.

My name is Tracy Aghawo and this is my story......... I remembered my matriculation day, my parents were next to me and new friends I met in school, Imade could not believe we’ve really gotten an admission because the university looked like an eternity but now we are in it.  Not just a normal student, we were only five females in our set that could make computer engineering: a department meant for men and now we are there to proof: what a man can do a woman can do better.

            Woke up early in expectation of the recitation that was going to initiate us into the confraternity of student hood in a tertiary institution, after today we would be popularly called the name jambite. The day was long with many activities mixed with it. Halls arranged parties also departments thought of a dinner for all, fellowships present many vigils and praises, all for this day and the truth just lie in the last phrase the chairman said in his presentation “as you all see yourselves today, this is the last time you will see yourselves this way, lastly many will drop out, some will change departments and I pray of all that we will never lose anyone. So in anything you do don’t be in these groups that I mentioned. Once again I welcome you to “University of Benin“.

            The lawn was perfectly laid and parents rejoiced with their wards chanting congratulation at probations. All expected a first class graduate to be produced in four years or more as if second and third class were meant for goats. My family gathered under the tree close to the Catholic Church. They came with foods and drinks to entertain my friends. Everything was perfect until Femi came and that became the genesis of all my problems ……………….

TURNING FROM OUR PAST

Diana’s session was like forever. That was the first sight of exorcism I saw. Her voice changed and something else was talking inside her. They have been sent to the world to come and attack men and women. They do all sorts of thing to gain access to your soul. I also went through lots of sessions in church afterwards to confirm I wasn’t influenced by the demonic Diana. My life was now getting stable again. I thank God for the love my wife could still show me even after all I’ve done wrong. 

Fr Thomas gave us many prayer points and sanctified our union once again. I promised not to ever turn away from my family again. Whenever I’m turning to God I will turn with my family. The state of solitude can cause a lot, which you would not know. My four seasons of loneliness have caused me so much havoc while I believed I was alone. But the spiritual aspects of it have helped realize the truth that I didn’t do those things in full consciousness. I still like Diana anyway if the spirits could be removed.

Now Diana is gone, no more Kevin, nobody else, I felt like saying I do once more. Its three days after the incidence and I still feel the trauma in my house. Neighbours still look at me somehow believing I was dating a demon. I really don’t care. It was Thursday morning and it was a public holiday. The real day my wife was expected back. Thank God she came early else I might never be delivered again. We sat in the sitting together and for the first time she was telling me her experience when she travelled. The hotel was beautiful, they gave us only breakfast, we had to pay for lunch but the money was made available by the organizers. The materials they exhibited were awesome. She rushed to the room to show me one she got for herself and me. I loved them and found myself apologizing again. Immediately my sight became clearer to the truth that sex isn’t love. It’s a lot deeper than that. Though I can’t define it but …… whatever I was getting from Diana was sex and it’s over.

Chidinma continued her story and emphasized on the night she had alcohol with one of her colleagues whose name have been ringing a bell for a while now. I feel very uncomfortable whenever she tells me the guy’s story. They were in the same college and the guy was her senior. She suddenly picked interest in the guy and that was it. They shared almost everything in their office and I just don’t like it. Now in another state they were having a drink. I drank two glasses of baileys, baby you won’t believe. I danced a little before I suddenly started feeling dizzy. Not to forget, this was after I took a glass of champagne. At that point I could imagine how high she was. It means when I was getting high here she was getting high over there.

I was too tipsy I couldn’t sleep in my room alone. I had to sleep in Henry’s room. He gave me a shirt to wear, tried to hold me at night but I know your touch more than his. Same thing Diana did I thought again. I woke up the next morning knowing something was wrong. I looked around me and I saw a guy wearing only boxers reading a bible in the same room with me. I yelled at him asking what I was doing here. He told me I begged to stay here yesterday. I stylishly asked if anything happened and he said nothing, apart from the fact that nobody kisses like me. I felt guilty of that but I can’t tell you on the phone. She moved from the chair and was kneeling to apologize to me. Tears were rolling down her eyes in her true confessions. I held her and pulled her up. Told her not to bother herself about that, Chidinma, I’m not angry sincerely. I don’t want us to dwell on our past any longer let’s move ahead. I gave her a longer kiss than ever before and happily we are living together now.

The end.

N.B : this is a true life story but the names are fictitious……..

You can share your dairies on this blog: send it to ijasanw@gmail

NEXT SEASON BEGINS TOMORROW: DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY

TURNING TO THE PRIEST

I weighed in my mind the extremity of the problem at home and the evidence of my innocence is pretty negative. What would I say? Should I just go with apologies? Chidinma would ask many questions and I must answer. Those questions really don’t have answers. The phone rang a second time before I picked it and said Father, I will be on my way soon but to my surprise it was my wife’s voice that I heard on the other side of the line. With a crying tone telling me baby, just come home all will be well. That’s the set up. 

I gathered up some courage to go home. Kevin advised me not to go yet, that I should wait for some family members to be home and advices starting rolling in. Personally I knew I had to go and face my fears but I didn’t know how. Slowly I stood up and walked to the road, stopped a bike again and home I was. Chidinma was arranging her things; she’s going to her mother’s house. Rev Fr. Thomas tried talking to her but she was all deaf ears. She said I never told her I would be a polygamist and she can’t live in the same house with another woman. I tried to apologize but I knew how irritating I was to her. I tried to explain also but I knew there was nothing to say. 

I have committed a sin I was falling in love with another woman, she’s a devil in human skin I told the Rev Fr and father tried explaining if I could confess my sins God is ready to forgive me. At this time I didn’t believe even the father. I walked into the kitchen to grab a cup of water and to my surprise there was Diana. She hasn’t left the house. I saw blood on her head and she was sobbing. I grabbed her and brought her up. We walked into the sitting room together and Father supported me. We sat her down and I went to get water with towel to clean her up. At this point I’ve forgotten my wife was at home. Carefully I mopped the blood off her face and saw the cut. It wasn’t so deep. She held my hand and father’s hand and whispered in our ears “I could give my soul for one last kiss, I love you Jude”. I was close to saying I love you too but I didn’t.

Chidinma rolled out a box, also carrying a hand bag and saw Diana again. She dropped the two and walked towards her. I barricaded Chidinma from getting to Diana. I cannot stand Diana’s state of unhappiness again; neither do I want to lose my wife. Father looked at me and shook his head and told my wife I’m acting under a spell. If you leave him this way, his soul would be forever lost. Father went to his car and brought out a small bottle of holy water and started sprinkling round the house. He walked round the whole compound pleading the blood of Jesus. I just wasn’t interested in the drama as if there is one demon somewhere causing the havoc. 

He opened the front door walked into the sitting room, chanting some Latin incantations and still pleading the blood of Jesus. With a drop of holy water touching Diana the atmosphere changed: the eyes turned white, the hair was standing straight, and she automatically regained her strength and was screaming. Chidinma ran towards me as I moved backward. Father continued sprinkling the holy water and shouted at us to run out of the house. With one last look at Chidinma I told her baby I’m sorry, she dragged me along with her outside the house and said now I understand……….

WHAT OTHER TURN

I felt condemned to death, I needed to disappear, I didn’t know what to say, I started to sweat profusely and thought to myself: should I push her outside or rewind the world to correct this errors?  My mind started roaming as she pushed her way inside the sitting room asking of Musa because the gate was left open. I couldn’t answer I was stunned beyond control. I politely moved away from the door and started towards the gate. I opened the gate and heard a shout from my sitting room. I knew my wife has started her Jackie Chan moves. In my mind I knew Diana would die today, cheating on chidinma’s husband is a taboo that even the devil knows.

I was outside the gate and effortlessly I got a bike, stopped it and told the bike man to just keep moving. I didn’t know where I was going to but I knew wherever it is I was going is better than staying in that house. Shortly I got to Kevin’s house and saw also barrister Osaze, our very good friend. I narrated the story and they told me I messed up. Was I supposed to stop my wife from entering her house or tell Diana to get out of my house or deny not knowing how she entered the house? I wasn’t interested in their story, all I was interested in was ……… really nothing. My mind was heavy but blank without solutions, the whole fun and highness and club was as a result of my stupidity. Once more I felt so bad I turned away from God at the first instance. 

Barrister agreed going to my house to calm the situation down. I looked at him and laughed in his angelic approach. I stayed back in Kevin’s house smoking profusely like a chimney. I relocated to the back of the house for smoking purposes and all alone I knew I had nowhere to turn to again.

I tried to control myself from crying but thinking on how my life is depreciating so quickly I cannot but roll tears off my eyes. I hated every instance of enjoyments I realized when my wife travelled. Diana suddenly meant devil to me. I have done wrong; I am a sinner I tried asking God for forgiveness as I threw away the Benson and hedges I was smoking, and then I heard a rush from the gate I tried to peep to know if my wife had followed them but it wasn’t anything near that. It was the next compound that all these were happening. I called Kevin to know the situation in the house, he refused to pick. I called Musa to find out if he was at home, he didn’t pick the first time and the second time he picked and said; oga kai madam don kill the other aunty o. kill or beat, haaaa her head don break. I asked of my friends and he said they are trying to hold her. What of the girl now I asked and the line went off. 

It was two hours before Kevin got home, with stains of blood on his shirt and acting like energy was drained from him, he started the narration; Jude, your wife is so broken. She had cried so well, she feels naked and the useless Diana started mentioning my name and Osaze’s name. She automatically concluded we were in the whole act together. She has called her mum and your dad and your auntie and nieghbours have entered your compound. Her boss is the house right now and police has been called to arrest Diana. You have really made a fool of this Jude. When did Diana come back? You always not satisfied that is your problem. See what it has caused now. Suddenly my phone rang and I jumped up to see an unknown number calling me, I picked slowly to hear the voice first if I would respond and the person said hello is this Jude? ……….. Yes I said, this is Rev Fr Thomas. I think you need to come home now…………