DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY PART 1

DIARY OF A SINGLE LADY

You call him sweetheart or baby with lovely responses and subconsciously you’ve built your entirety around him but lately you are beginning to wonder whether he may be “the one”. You know that a lifetime commitment should not be taken lightly. The question is, is he really a husband material?

Ever since I was a little girl, I created a world of knowing how my husband looks like. I made a list: handsome, smart, tall, rich, romantic, built… The list went on and on. The truth is, I didn’t know what was important in a husband. I dated several guys that satisfied all of my requirements. Yet, I did not want to marry them. Gradually, I started cluing in to what really matters.

If you’ve ever been in a serious and long relationship before you are not likely to be alien to what I’m talking about. The feelings and affection grow to a point and new habits start coming up. You start wondering if he is originating these habits or they were hidden before.

Quarrels take days to get settled, no breakfast in bed, he starts thinking of you as a washing machine, he keeps you at home and he goes out to nurture his manhood with alcohol and sometimes other girls I presume and his useless friends would never stop making jest of you by respecting you every time they see you by calling you ‘mama’ as if they don’t know their mother…….this is Tracy’s experience

One must be the height of failure to have failed in one’s fantasies. Same with me in what I’ve built as a castle of affection in a relationship that would last forever. We would be best of friends; the father of my children, the pride of my womanhood, subconsciously I’ve changed my surname to his but all these were mere fantasies.

I have moved from nearly married to extreme single right now. The whole world crumbled on me and my heart was shattered beyond repairs. I lost the reality of settlement and was trapped in the euphoria of singlehood until I discovered it was my 30^th birthday

“How old are you now “

“How old are you now “

“How old are you now Tracy

“How old are you now

It immediately clicked in my head I was 30 years old and I had more babies at my party than adults. All my friends came with an average of 2 children and I’ m yet to find Mr. Right. With a smiling face I knew I was in some trouble with the entrance of my mummy and auntie Feza. The whole fun of birthday is about to be changed to advice on my singlehood like I really forgot. With a craspy voice my auntie excused me from the sitting room into the kitchen. We sat at the dining table in the kitchen to have a chat. I knew where we are driving at anyway but morals keep you listening. The sermon went on again into when are going to get settled? Don’t tell me you don’t have anyone you are thinking of? It became unbearable when she told me she was going to introduce me to one of her neighbours” he’s a divorcee”

Is being single a disease or what. I wonder what the men in Nigeria are waiting for. They subconsciously have lost the sense of responsibility God gave to them in settling down. They are just in the habit of sleeping around, promising you heaven on earth and afterwards breaking your heart. I walked back into the sitting room to join my friends who are felicitating with me. One after the other their husbands started coming to pick them and I knew the talks from the two old women in my house is about to begin again.

My name is Tracy Aghawo and this is my story......... I remembered my matriculation day, my parents were next to me and new friends I met in school, Imade could not believe we’ve really gotten an admission because the university looked like an eternity but now we are in it.  Not just a normal student, we were only five females in our set that could make computer engineering: a department meant for men and now we are there to proof: what a man can do a woman can do better.

            Woke up early in expectation of the recitation that was going to initiate us into the confraternity of student hood in a tertiary institution, after today we would be popularly called the name jambite. The day was long with many activities mixed with it. Halls arranged parties also departments thought of a dinner for all, fellowships present many vigils and praises, all for this day and the truth just lie in the last phrase the chairman said in his presentation “as you all see yourselves today, this is the last time you will see yourselves this way, lastly many will drop out, some will change departments and I pray of all that we will never lose anyone. So in anything you do don’t be in these groups that I mentioned. Once again I welcome you to “University of Benin“.

            The lawn was perfectly laid and parents rejoiced with their wards chanting congratulation at probations. All expected a first class graduate to be produced in four years or more as if second and third class were meant for goats. My family gathered under the tree close to the Catholic Church. They came with foods and drinks to entertain my friends. Everything was perfect until Femi came and that became the genesis of all my problems ……………….