I am constrained to write this letter
to you because I feel a little less of the feelings I used to feel for you
before. I am a man willing to leave and I know you are a woman of options. The last
eight months has been mixed with feelings of heaven on earth and on the other
hand hell on earth. A blessing in disguise I thought until I discovered it a
curse in its fullness. I have never done this before but for you I’ll break all rules.
You are a scar on my mind. Never will I forgive nor forget you. A shame I can’t
wipe off and an infamy I will remember till adulthood. If I was wrong in all
these I would have been lenient and understanding, but in all truth I wish you
never existed in my life.
Sarah Bells a name I would never
forget. A lady not just like any other lady. You are an experience and adventure
that characterized my entirety for a period of 240 days. A joy I can’t explain;
a fulfillment in wrongs, and a mistake I wished I could make again. The gains
seem much but realizing what I’ve lost I know the episode of you in my life
cannot be one I wanted again. I wished to always be with you; I dream of you many
times but I sincerely don’t know if I can be sane around you again.
Two reasons I would give you to
present this chapter of writing to you. Firstly infidelity: I remembered how we
met. It was on my birthday and I was trying to put things together for a house
party. Daddy and mummy had left the country two days before and I was mixing my
birthday with the Christmas fun. Friends trooped in from a.m. to assist in the
preparation. I was so stressed in making sure everything went on well but your
entrance with Burut changed the whole affair. You were a birthday gift
delivered to my life and a beauty to behold.
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Hi, my name is Francis and it’s my
birthday. You smiled and replied I’m Sarah and the conversation continued until
you agreed you’ll come back with Burut that evening. You were glamorous in that
attire and I can’t forget the goodnight kiss you gave to me just before you
left. The memories of gifts from you cannot be undermined. In all things the
first one month had been the best period I’ve lived in. I would also love to
remind you of those periods we were tied within erotic feelings; naked inside my
room. Promising ourselves heaven on earth and nurturing the responses we had connecting
us. I remembered you promising not to ever leave or cheat on me. Sarah you were
all and all was good but……
John was a supposed family friend;
you people grew up together and suddenly he was doing all I could do to you
also. That wasn’t so painful as much as I still respecting him because he was
like an elder brother to my girlfriend. Tony was a classmate. He was the best
in the class. He plays the keyboard for his church and he really doesn't dress
well. You still were sex mates Paul was my cousin and a brother. You travelled seven hours to feel what
he kept underneath. I don’t want to
believe you fall a victim to seven different close allies called friends and
brothers in a span of eight months. I believe you felt how well I loved you and
your wickedness was just about all you could expand into our relationship.
Going further into all the days you
held me into fasting and prayer till 6pm in the name of love and we building our
relationship for the future. Posterity cannot forgive you even if I wish to. Sarah
dear; the way my mum calls you with a tone of a caring mother in law revealing
her love to a daughter in law in line. We never knew there was nobody like Sarah Bells. I cannot forget the first day we made love, it was interested I could
taste it in my mouth. A conviction you were my wife ordained from above needed
no predictions. I knew it already and nothing was going to change that.
The change came when people started
telling me tales of your escapades in the same town we lived in. I didn’t believe
them because you didn’t want me to. It was the sixth month and you packaged a means
of me loosing my friends. One after the other I chased them. It was I alone
in your world. It was easier for you to maneuver me. I couldn’t think you were
a devilish spirit because you loved church. But it was the revelation that you were
sleeping with the senior pastor and choir master that made me know the devil is
part of this. Your pyrrhic victory on the ashes of men you’ve stepped would
only be short lived.
All I have written is for you to know
I lived with you in one love this whole eight months of our relationship. I didn’t
cheat on you and never intended to cheat on you. All I ever wanted is with you
but……
Now I’m done with you. It’s the third
day I've made up my mind and it seems you don’t exist to me. I tried to decipher a solution but it wasn’t
possible. I have tolerated all these irregularities and incoherence as long as
I could, because I love you so much, and because I am so sorry for things in
your life that are tricky & exhausting, I think it’s best I leave. I still
have a conviction though that despite all you’ve done to me; there is a part of
you that is good
Sarah, I have passed the phase of being
thrilled, panicky, defenseless, startled, persuaded or bought. I am never
afraid to disagree again but it will always be on principles, and if on love,
in the both interests. After my eight month experience in the confined
foolishness of a specie called SARAH, there is nothing worse for me anymore. I have
made up my mind and that’s it.
