Monday, 24 April 2017

THE ADVENTURES OF PASTOR FISH PART 2 ......



Lack of self-control can only be known when exposed to the vice you fight. Some say I can’t womanise when they live in a seminary; people even promise to be humble if they become rich, a phrase of the poor. Pastor fish never knew the temptations of the world could be very distracting and if one is not careful might go astray and never come back. Follow ups are always done in groups starting from two persons. And they follow people up not otherwise. In the case of pastor fish sister Angela as popularly called now was the one that did the follow up. She had come for a visit in pastor’s house. It was a surprise to pastor fish and he felt the word he shared on the day of evangelism was the connection between himself and Sister Angela. As for her also she came unannounced. 

It was a Saturday morning and the weather was cloudy. It was evident rain wasn’t farfetched. A knock on pastor’s door called his attention. He stood up from his laziness and wore a short as he opened the door. He was surprised to see Sister Angela at the front door with tears in her eyes. He ushered her in and told her to sit down. She wiped her tears and settled down to narrate her story. She started from the genesis of how she started the profession of prostitution. What led her into it and how life has been so cruel to her. She continued with analysis of how many people she has slept with and how she hasn’t been infected at any time. The story went on and on with intervals of tears. Pastor fish was moved beyond borders and the next statement was the beginning of the voyage. We are going back there right now to go pack your things. You are moving out of that brothel said pastor fish. 


In less than ten minutes after they got there she had moved her bags out of the brothel to go get a new life in Christ. Pastor has won a soul. A great soul this time around. That was a feat every believer wants to achieve and solemnly he brought her into his house and the rain started. He took her things inside his room in this one bedroom apartment as if she was moving in with him but to pastor fish he wants to call the sisters in church to house Sister Angela. 

The first call went to sister grace; she declined with the fact that her younger brother just came into town and he will be around for a while. Sister Emem was preparing for her wedding thus her fiancĂ©e was the excuse. Sister joy said she travelled that morning while sister precious said her uncles daughters friend that came to town is with her. Thus pending the time pastor fish will get somewhere for her to stay; she had to put up at pastor’s apartment. 

The downpour was heavy with thunderstorms.  The day became night with the cloud covering the city. The room suddenly became cold. She stepped into the kitchen and made a delicacy and for the first time the man of God felt the essence of a woman in the house. Meal after meal the days went and the house started having a feminine touch. He wasn’t interested in those sisters coming to take her away again. They were both sharing the apartment. She slept on the bad and pastor fish slept on the mattress on the floor. Prayers were like the air they breathe until that night they left the window open. Rain had entered through the window that was left open. The mattress on the floor has been soaked, so they had to share the bed.  

Sister Angela moved inside as pastor fish covered up from behind. The warmth was immediately felt as he moved closer. She gripped him every time there was thunderstorm like a baby running to her dad for help. The clinging was friendly at first but as the night got colder; something started moving inside pastor fish’s body. He started responding to stimulus. The hardship becoming real and Sister Angela being a professional in the trade knew where to ignite the fire. She slipped her hand inside his trouser and before he could say anything………….. She has got her mouth on it. The man of God was about to explode and the activities that followed seemed heavenly to him. That was the moment pastor fish started backsliding. He missed service and got late to church many times. The church committee of spirituality called a meeting and invited pastor fish. His response was a testimony in church on Sunday and he started with PRAISE THE LORD………..

Sunday, 23 April 2017

THE ADVENTURES OF PASTOR FISH ............PART 1



I have always heard love could be found in the most unlikely places………. some found theirs in titanic, some at a dance-hall, some met at a bar drinking and lived together ever after, some in classrooms, some were colleagues at work, some at a cinema, others in church and church functions, my good friends met at a supermarket, while my neighbours met at a stadium, both not supporting the same team then…….. but as the saying goes opposite attracts. The essence of the story was for a pastor friend of mine who met his life partner at a brothel. The truth is pastor fish as popularly called is married to a prostitute. A professional one. Not the one that stands on the street nor the one that is called when there is a chairman. He is married to that type of prostitute that you will get to the brothel and they will take you to their room. They lived there. Day in day out, they build their existence on the opening of their legs for as many customers as possible who are willing to get in between. The joy was in the number of customers per day. On a good day you’ll have ten but on bad days, three to four. The booze and cigarette smell makes it evidence it’s not a place for a man of God, but pastor fish was caught in between the web of love in the most unlikely place. 

It all started with evangelism. The prophetic word came to the church to do the needful in the city he was found to be. The exercise was for the whole church thus different groups were formed to hit the target of proclaiming and conversion into Christianity. Pastor fish led a group into the city center and four major points were cardinal to his mission. One beer parlour, one gambling home, a secondary school and a brothel. Pastor fish is the assistant pastor in charge of prayers and exaltation. The church sees him as one without blemish. His greeting always end with amen and his salutations are all alleluia. He portrays holiness as a lifestyle but the visit made a difference.

It was day three and the last day of the evangelical adventure. The day of the brothel visit. They have prayed before embarking on the journey to the brothel. The spirit was lifted and the force was evident. They walked in unannounced thus what they met was sets of ladies smoking while twerking to the beats.  The thickness of the smoke choked pastor fish out of the hall first but with a little push he was back inside. His sight caught sister Angela's bum and the shake changed the thought pattern immediately. It took a while for the man of God to regain consciousness and convert the sight to glorify the Father. Minutes became hours as it ended in praying together. The next visitation was in pastor fish’s apartment and then the adventure began. the twerk in the hall was been done on his bed but all with a vital explanation..........

(all names and characters used in this write up are fictional)

Sunday, 1 January 2017



I hated 2016 so well. It flashed in my sight my supposed life partner but took it away. I felt it was the prospect but I never knew it was just a spy into the future. Providence has a way of dealing with us all when it comes to life’s challenges that are not based on just natural principles but also divine. The search for a life partner has been one with many hassles for many men. I wasn’t left out if this in 2016 also. 

I was sitting alone reminiscing over the last erotic incidence that just occurred. The bottle of heineken was getting too slow to finish as I have exhausted my energy completely. I wasn’t bothered about what I did as to who I did it with. How fast it was and good it was. 

I heard a knock on my door and it was a lady I never knew. She was carrying bags like someone coming from a mall shopping groceries for a nation. I opened the door with questions and all she did was point down for me to see it was my girlfriend who just came back from her shopping experience again. She had just aided her to bring the things up. I helped in carrying some to the kitchen as I don’t like to litter the sitting room and off she went as Aisha came upstairs looking so exhausted. 

I welcomed her with a hug and asked what she wanted to use all these things for and from the explanations made I know it wasn’t meant for me at all. In twenty minutes she was ready to go home. She needed me to drive her home. Practically the only role I play apart from sex. I willingly carried everything back downstairs and drove her gently back home. 

I felt like stopping over at Johnson’s place but the sight of the girl that helped her bring those things upstairs refreshed in my memory again and speedily I was at my gate. She was still sitting at the balcony when I came back. She greeted me as I invited over to my place. She came without any complains and before you knew it we have started scattering my well-arranged sitting room. I pulled off her clothes in less than a minute and we held on to ourselves like hungry wild animals looking for who to devour. I was active in her as she responded like she has always wanted it. I didn’t believe Aisha will forget anything but she forgot her house key. The cab was waiting outside the house as she came upstairs to get her key and she opened the door………..
These are the kind of stories I wrote in 2016 but 2017 is with another twist……………….

Stay connected to www.wolfaxdiaries .blogspot.com in 2017 for a new feel of real life stories 

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE STORYTELLER