LIFE PARTNERS PART 1

Our lifelong dependence on one another puts relationships at the core of our existence. Once, there was attraction….. The attraction between a man and a woman to which we owe our existence. As social animals we have a passionate need to belong and connect with others in enduring and passionate relationships. This we seek all through life. From our infancy till death; humans seek to have a relationship that he/she knows nothing about. 

No child knew his parents before birth but a bond is created that the existence of that child is glued to the relationship between the child and the parent. Even before the child; parents were once strangers who felt there was more to life than living alone. The bond of love has led to children, whose survival chances are boosted by the nurturing of two bonded parents who supports one another. “Two good hands are better than one” a phrase built on interdependency and one starts to ask, where do I go from here? Where will I meet him or her that would be the ideal life partner that I function perfectly with?

Everywhere people actually hope for love and close relationships that can preoccupy our thinking and colour our emotions. We crave into finding a supportive soul mate in whom we can confide, feel accepted and prized. 

For the heartbroken, widows, jilted and the sojourner in a strange world; the loss of social bond triggers pain, solitude or withdrawal. Everyday people twinge for their own people and the war we see the world experiencing; started from the foundation of NO LOVE between a man and a woman. 

The world is built on love but nowadays love is economic and cosmetic. Intimate relationships make us healthier and happier. Survey shows that single people are more likely to react irrationally than people with partners. Although some have partners but are still single. When the bond is not there…… you are single. 

When I’m not near the one I love; I love the one I’m near. Reading this and you ask yourself …… who is likely going to say this in a relationship, a boy or a girl? In my pursuit for a life partner I read so many books, attended so many crusades, listened to so many seminars, pay attention at so many conferences and church programs seems the best. I hit the gym three times a week and my cosmetics were on point. I did all to be the best of me, so that he can locate me on time. Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of introduction. This I knew and I worked it out. But where would you meet him or better where would he meet you?

PROXIMITY: where do you live? Where do you work? Where do you go to? Who are your friends? And who are you looking for? Most times people complain of not being attached to the right person when they are at the wrong place. I have learnt a lot in this short life I’ve lived and sincerely I am out here to share with you. The first step in locating the right guy is to be at the right place. The world is a global village right now but don’t expect to date Denzel Washington just because you see his movie in Jos. Closeness is a factor you cannot underestimate. Proximity brings interaction. You mustn’t travel out of your location to meet him but open all channels before you meet the right guy. They would come lying to you about love but until you have him under your armpit you don’t succumb to any man’s urge. 

I dated eleven guys and slept with an extra three before I found the right guy. He was all along in my face but I didn’t see him. We knew ourselves but we weren’t close. The first mistake I made was that I didn’t know who I was looking for. I was working out something that could help me in managing whoever comes. The experiences I’ve shared had crammed me into a shell as a loser but the liberation was nearer than I thought.

Humility could be a form of pride sometimes… same with me. I used the beauty I posses as a form of pride while smiling at everyone in humility. Felicia Agodi is a name that men move away from. Subconsciously everyone believes that I must have the best guy in the world to manage the skin providence has given me coupled with the figure I grew into. I forgot that everything I saw on myself I didn’t make it and God kept it there just for one guy in this world. From secondary school days everyone knew I was beautiful. It sang in my ears until I knew. My entrance into the university was greeted by stunning looks and poses that I have earlier rehearsed at home. Both students and lectures wanted to have me but I wasn’t really available which I blamed myself for afterwards. 

My first boyfriend was Olamide. He is an intelligent guy and also a rich kid. A complete human being to me. A guy every lady wants to introduce to the next lady as my man. To me Olamide loves me more than my present husband but teenage love was always the dumbest. 

 I walked out of the lecture-theater after a boring GST (general studies) sermon and needed a cab home. I was feeling sticky within my legs and I felt I needed a shower sooner. I stood under the shades of tree the university had provided while expecting a car drive close. A guy tapped me from the back, wearing a white t shirt and hanging his shirt on his shoulder like a tout. I was pissed he could even touch me. I turned and like what does he want. He calmed me down as he said: don’t turn and create a scene, but I pulled my shirt to give you because I think you are on your period and you are stained. I wanted to turn to check but there were people in front of me. He gave me his shirt to cover the mess and told me to wait for him to bring his car so that he could drive me to my hostel. I was ashamed and imagined how many had seen it. I hopped into the front seat when I entered his car and couldn’t look him in his face. Then Olamide started his stories. I have never felt a man talk like that before. It was a long gist that it took him coming into my room that day and his conviction was great. But I followed the rules …………

Rule no 1: when you’re still young; never give him a smooth sail but when a little old always give him a trial.