SHADOWS OF THE PAST PART 1

Nothing scares me like failure thus; one should know nothing amazes me like success. I found out through my religious studies that the devil always uses our fantasies to hunt us. As for me my problem was getting married. I have come to the knowledge of the truth that I love women and them in tune love me. I have more handsome friends around me who even have more finances to squander on this worldly act of womanizing but these ladies can’t just stop coming close to me. Instead of me promising heaven on earth they accuse me of not accepting their offers. I was a professional in conviction I know and the appeal seems endless but in this particular situation I met my march. A march I wish could be my bride for a life time. The only lady in my whole life that can confront my conviction. 

It was lunch and we all walked out of the hall like professionals. Terrorism is the newest market for security agents in the world and as a criminologist I found myself as one of them thinking of a way out. The security world doesn't have most of the beautiful ladies but have ladies who could easily change their looks in deceit to get whatever they wanted. This particular day I saw the opposite. She looked like a representative of zenith bank (those girls in Maitama branch) in her attire and the way she spoke when she asked the question I knew she was up to the thrill. Approaching a woman has always been the easiest of it all but this day I thought a second time. I suddenly became fidgety and lost my confidence. Something in me told me to walk towards her and the other said I should just wait…. She’ll walk towards you it said. I didn’t believe any of the two but I found myself in front of her and the words came out as easy as it could be. 

Lovely presentation I guess; and in line with the question you asked I think the differentiation theory could be used in analyzing such intentions. The talk went on and on even after we got our food and were seated. She became so engulfed in what I was saying and after thirty minutes I asked the killer question that always gave me the go ahead “do you understand” and she said no. I was misplaced for a while at her no. every lady always tell me they understand even when I didn’t understand myself. But as for her she said no and asked me to come again. Sincerely it was then I knew I can’t remember what I was saying. My conviction has been confused and I needed another way out. I looked at her and tried to change the topic for another day then she pulled out her pen from her jacket and wrote her number on the serviette paper. Call me later if you have the balls and next time be sure of what you are saying when you sit in front of me. I held on to the paper and my last wish was please can I know your name? She looked back and told me Stella as she walked away. Then I concluded I wasn’t that special and this must be the lady but………

It was seven pm and I waited till that moment to call her. She picked after the first ring like she was expecting it and the greetings followed like we were old friends. She invited me to her hotel room and asked me to get her a bottle of whiskey while coming. We sat at the balcony of her hotel room and started the longest conversation I ever had. She asked me a question to bring out the truthful part of me or rather expose a past which could affect the future I assume. I choose the truth and that was the moment I lost my confidence completely. Do you like to sleep with me or you want a real deal? I looked at her and tried to convince her but in all truth I told her I wanted her for a life time.

She stood up and the story began. You are the third guy confident enough to have said this to me that he wanted a real relationship with me. The former two are dead now and I don’t know anything about how they died. But they died the same way. They fell off a balcony and died after cheating on me. I got scared when I heard what happened to them and it got scarier when I discovered it was always after a cheat. At this moment she turned and looked at me and the story of the first began. ……………..