AM I USELESS

At  37, I don’t have a job, nor a wife or girlfriend, I don’t have money, I don’t have a degree to my name, I squat from friend’s house to another, I’m an alcoholic, I smoke like an exhaust of a car then I can say I’m useless. It’s not a new thing to me when people call me useless but in all these there is something I’m good at. Every night this thing keeps my phone ringing. I’m trying to commercialise it fully but the way to go is what I don’t know.  I had no influence over it. I was born like that.

That’s the only legacy my father left for me. This man died without a property to his name; not even a farm. He left only rags for us to clean up. I didn’t even know my father owed house rent before he died. He has slept with almost all the women in my village. The landlord’s wife was constant every evening for her dose. Reports reaching me told me my mum had to run away after the man nearly killed her with the hammer of horror. That was the legacy he passed across to me. I grew up knowing I had a dangling object in between my legs. Since sex is a natural instinct I started using it.  This has been my source of feeding for the last ten years but friends are advising me to make it business related and make it scarce a little for a better value.

With 30% penetration, these women shout extremely. I wonder if I go 60% what they will do. I spent time washing this tool every morning and after every action. Since it’s usage for partial commercial purpose; only ITOROBONG as stood the test. She swallowed 50% with a loud moan though but I believe her government afterwards. She is also a commercial sex worker who had a bet with her friend that she can swallow half the size. I didn’t know how much the bet was but she gave me N11,000 as compensation for being good to her.

Col Adamu’s wife had always had sexual issues with her husband. It all started when she discovered her husband impregnated another woman during peace keeping exercise in Liberia. She hadn’t allowed her husband touch her for over three months. This made the man randy and the sexual drive made him know outside existed. He looked from street to street in search of anything with a hole. In short, he was a dog……. “The breed I don’t know”.

Auntie Hassana has been wonderful. It has always been a hotel affair. She is the only person that had thought good of me off all my clients. She even suggested I get a two bedroom flat at the outskirt so that she could be coming there. Since Colonel is seeking refuge outside; she is also under my canopy. I serve her double dose every time she is around. She brings food for me and KUNU to replenish the lost milk from the factory. Her body is perfect and I wonder what her husband was looking for outside. If I was rich I could have married her but the fear of Colonel is the beginning of wisdom……

Ekene is a wonderful lady also. Close to my age without a husband, she is obviously frustrated. I service her Congo also every weekend. A bank manager with so much money; I wonder why guys are so blind to her. I guess it’s her pride. Instead of marrying me she still complains I don’t have a job and I drink too much. I pray she will meet the REV FR kind of husband when I’m done panel beating her body. Truthfully whoever marries Ekene is marrying just the body, no more engines.

As for Omotola, the woman I will never forget in a while for the big bum bum and the lovely sound tracks she posses. Omotola is married to Chief Adewale (the business mogul) as the eight wife.  According to the time table the man visits once a month. A man close to his seventies, trying to impress a 29 year old girl, will just slump and die. She discovered me when she went to a hair dressing salon. My talk was with emotions from Mrs Dranger. I didn’t know my performance with her was impressive. I knew she removed her wig and threw away at a time; I just thought it was a mild impression. She gave me only N28,000 after the affair.

My phone rang one evening and it was Omotola. She had invited me to Rockview hotel to view her rock bottom. I told her I don’t have transport fare which she agreed to pay. When I got there she narrated the story at the salon to me and asked me if I can make her feel like a woman again. I laughed out and got into action in a bit. She was first scared when she saw the umbrella size dick rolling out in measure but slowly and professionally I escorted it into her. She wrote a cheque and demanded her turn every weekend.

I have made little money from these adventures though but now I’m going professional. No more free drive. I want to use this medium to tell the following girls that I’m no longer interested in their Indomie sex. They will just bring Indomie to the house and open their legs for me to activate them. Kemi, Polina, Happiness, Joy, Caroline, Bumpy, Gertti, Sandra, Sophia, and lolly, please I now have a fee. Short time, N20,000. For my madams I know you will use your church mind but nothing less than N40,000.

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