THE COLLEAGUE

We were all set for the meeting except Gideon. He was the only one sweating in the room choking from the cold of the air conditioner. Suddenly the projector wasn’t working properly and the microphone developed some cranking sounds. It just seemed he wasn’t prepared for us at all. Three empty chairs shows some representatives were not around but they might likely join us before the end of the presentation. We all flipped through the journal in front of us as people discussed in low tones about the development of the media industry in Nigeria. Deliberations were on going on improvement techniques as we await Gideon’s presentation titled “Media---- the untapped gold in Nigeria”.

The door swung open again and the rays of light didn’t seem to create a clear picture of whoever was coming in evidently. I adjusted my seat as the damsel was working towards my seat. She was admired by all as men who are close to their 60’s still turned in admiration. I was stunned by beauty and instantly my fine-tuning techniques were put in place. She pulled the chair next to me as she saw her name was written on it. I was expecting a guy to come sit beside me before. I never knew a lady’s name could be Alex until I knew it was Alexandria. I greeted her as she responded with a smile that exposed her gap tooth. She was shocked we’ve not started the program and it was at this point that we got talking. I explained the situation to her and said we should be starting pretty soon. She was a script writer and content developer as I introduced myself as an editor and cinematographer. She spanned into the whole thirty minutes of extra wait with works done and experiences were shared. I gave her my business card as she exchanged hers also and confidently I knew her number was secured in my hands.

Gideon’s presentation was finally made and it was applauded by all. Contributions and counter contributions were made as frameworks were designed and approaches were created on how to move the industry forward. I was writing a lot down but my focus was on the lunch I and Alex were going for after the presentation. I have promised to take her places as that day was her first day in Port Harcourt. Lagos ladies are difficult to impress thus I knew I had to visit the best places in this short while.

 The stop after the event was at D’ Crib restaurant at old GRA Port Harcourt. The ambience is always excellent. The welcome was homely and I could see her smile was calm with respect for the environment she just found herself. We ordered for her choice as it was made available in minutes. We laughed over a lot of things as we built a chemistry I presume will lead us to a pleasurable night.

 The underground pool lounge at D’Crib restaurant was our next stop. We chatted like old lover and it was time to take her back to her hotel room for a rest and a change for the night’s groove.

Immediately I dropped her off, I rushed to my house. I walked through my wardrobe to pick striking attires that will match her personality. I had three options and they were all good to me but ………

I opened my fridge to get some ice cubes and prepared for myself a small combination of gin and juice. My blends are always smooth. Even ladies love it and it has kept many of them laying on my bed till the next morning. Thinking about Alex made me believe the word infatuation. I was so attracted to her that I can give up eternity to be with her. The burning sensations in me created a world of fantasy and within I have done everything possible sexually to her. The time came for a pick up in her hotel and I placed a call that I will be on my way in a bit. She agreed with no hesitation. I drove quickly to the hotel and pulled over at the car park. I combed my hair one more time and had a spray from the perfume I always kept in the car. I picked up my phone and dialed her number again to notify her I was downstairs but she didn’t pick. I placed a second call which she didn’t pick also. I started making excuse for her; telling myself maybe she was in the bathroom or so. I was getting bored with no response from her and I turned to the car beside me I saw a guy and a lady kissing passionately inside the car. I turned my face away from them but I realized it was Alex that was inside the car. I became furious and thought of coming down to knock the windows but something just reminded me she wasn’t my girlfriend yet.

I reversed in anger and drove to the gate of the hotel. I was burning furiously at the height of disrespect and as I was about dropping my pass at the gate when she called me. I picked and she said….. Hello baby, sorry I was in the bathroom when you called. Meet me at room 324. I rushed back to the parking space I just left and saw the two of them were not inside the car again. I went up to room 324 and the sight I saw was more beautiful than I can explain. I was stunned for a while and with a deep kiss I pulled the towel apart. I went lower in a bit,and started biting like a dog playing with your fingers and the scream from her placed a level of pleasure in me until the door opened and …….

THE ADVENTURES OF PASTOR FISH PART 2 ......

Lack of self-control can only be known when exposed to the vice you fight. Some say I can’t womanise when they live in a seminary; people even promise to be humble if they become rich, a phrase of the poor. Pastor fish never knew the temptations of the world could be very distracting and if one is not careful might go astray and never come back. Follow ups are always done in groups starting from two persons. And they follow people up not otherwise. In the case of pastor fish sister Angela as popularly called now was the one that did the follow up. She had come for a visit in pastor’s house. It was a surprise to pastor fish and he felt the word he shared on the day of evangelism was the connection between himself and Sister Angela. As for her also she came unannounced. 

It was a Saturday morning and the weather was cloudy. It was evident rain wasn’t farfetched. A knock on pastor’s door called his attention. He stood up from his laziness and wore a short as he opened the door. He was surprised to see Sister Angela at the front door with tears in her eyes. He ushered her in and told her to sit down. She wiped her tears and settled down to narrate her story. She started from the genesis of how she started the profession of prostitution. What led her into it and how life has been so cruel to her. She continued with analysis of how many people she has slept with and how she hasn’t been infected at any time. The story went on and on with intervals of tears. Pastor fish was moved beyond borders and the next statement was the beginning of the voyage. We are going back there right now to go pack your things. You are moving out of that brothel said pastor fish. 

In less than ten minutes after they got there she had moved her bags out of the brothel to go get a new life in Christ. Pastor has won a soul. A great soul this time around. That was a feat every believer wants to achieve and solemnly he brought her into his house and the rain started. He took her things inside his room in this one bedroom apartment as if she was moving in with him but to pastor fish he wants to call the sisters in church to house Sister Angela. 

The first call went to sister grace; she declined with the fact that her younger brother just came into town and he will be around for a while. Sister Emem was preparing for her wedding thus her fiancée was the excuse. Sister joy said she travelled that morning while sister precious said her uncles daughters friend that came to town is with her. Thus pending the time pastor fish will get somewhere for her to stay; she had to put up at pastor’s apartment. 

The downpour was heavy with thunderstorms.  The day became night with the cloud covering the city. The room suddenly became cold. She stepped into the kitchen and made a delicacy and for the first time the man of God felt the essence of a woman in the house. Meal after meal the days went and the house started having a feminine touch. He wasn’t interested in those sisters coming to take her away again. They were both sharing the apartment. She slept on the bad and pastor fish slept on the mattress on the floor. Prayers were like the air they breathe until that night they left the window open. Rain had entered through the window that was left open. The mattress on the floor has been soaked, so they had to share the bed.  

Sister Angela moved inside as pastor fish covered up from behind. The warmth was immediately felt as he moved closer. She gripped him every time there was thunderstorm like a baby running to her dad for help. The clinging was friendly at first but as the night got colder; something started moving inside pastor fish’s body. He started responding to stimulus. The hardship becoming real and Sister Angela being a professional in the trade knew where to ignite the fire. She slipped her hand inside his trouser and before he could say anything………….. She has got her mouth on it. The man of God was about to explode and the activities that followed seemed heavenly to him. That was the moment pastor fish started backsliding. He missed service and got late to church many times. The church committee of spirituality called a meeting and invited pastor fish. His response was a testimony in church on Sunday and he started with PRAISE THE LORD………..

THE ADVENTURES OF PASTOR FISH ............PART 1

I have always heard love could be found in the most unlikely places………. some found theirs in titanic, some at a dance-hall, some met at a bar drinking and lived together ever after, some in classrooms, some were colleagues at work, some at a cinema, others in church and church functions, my good friends met at a supermarket, while my neighbours met at a stadium, both not supporting the same team then…….. but as the saying goes opposite attracts. The essence of the story was for a pastor friend of mine who met his life partner at a brothel. The truth is pastor fish as popularly called is married to a prostitute. A professional one. Not the one that stands on the street nor the one that is called when there is a chairman. He is married to that type of prostitute that you will get to the brothel and they will take you to their room. They lived there. Day in day out, they build their existence on the opening of their legs for as many customers as possible who are willing to get in between. The joy was in the number of customers per day. On a good day you’ll have ten but on bad days, three to four. The booze and cigarette smell makes it evidence it’s not a place for a man of God, but pastor fish was caught in between the web of love in the most unlikely place. 

It all started with evangelism. The prophetic word came to the church to do the needful in the city he was found to be. The exercise was for the whole church thus different groups were formed to hit the target of proclaiming and conversion into Christianity. Pastor fish led a group into the city center and four major points were cardinal to his mission. One beer parlour, one gambling home, a secondary school and a brothel. Pastor fish is the assistant pastor in charge of prayers and exaltation. The church sees him as one without blemish. His greeting always end with amen and his salutations are all alleluia. He portrays holiness as a lifestyle but the visit made a difference.

It was day three and the last day of the evangelical adventure. The day of the brothel visit. They have prayed before embarking on the journey to the brothel. The spirit was lifted and the force was evident. They walked in unannounced thus what they met was sets of ladies smoking while twerking to the beats.  The thickness of the smoke choked pastor fish out of the hall first but with a little push he was back inside. His sight caught sister Angela's bum and the shake changed the thought pattern immediately. It took a while for the man of God to regain consciousness and convert the sight to glorify the Father. Minutes became hours as it ended in praying together. The next visitation was in pastor fish’s apartment and then the adventure began. the twerk in the hall was been done on his bed but all with a vital explanation..........

(all names and characters used in this write up are fictional)