AM I USELESS

At  37, I don’t have a job, nor a wife or girlfriend, I don’t have money, I don’t have a degree to my name, I squat from friend’s house to another, I’m an alcoholic, I smoke like an exhaust of a car then I can say I’m useless. It’s not a new thing to me when people call me useless but in all these there is something I’m good at. Every night this thing keeps my phone ringing. I’m trying to commercialise it fully but the way to go is what I don’t know.  I had no influence over it. I was born like that.

That’s the only legacy my father left for me. This man died without a property to his name; not even a farm. He left only rags for us to clean up. I didn’t even know my father owed house rent before he died. He has slept with almost all the women in my village. The landlord’s wife was constant every evening for her dose. Reports reaching me told me my mum had to run away after the man nearly killed her with the hammer of horror. That was the legacy he passed across to me. I grew up knowing I had a dangling object in between my legs. Since sex is a natural instinct I started using it.  This has been my source of feeding for the last ten years but friends are advising me to make it business related and make it scarce a little for a better value.

With 30% penetration, these women shout extremely. I wonder if I go 60% what they will do. I spent time washing this tool every morning and after every action. Since it’s usage for partial commercial purpose; only ITOROBONG as stood the test. She swallowed 50% with a loud moan though but I believe her government afterwards. She is also a commercial sex worker who had a bet with her friend that she can swallow half the size. I didn’t know how much the bet was but she gave me N11,000 as compensation for being good to her.

Col Adamu’s wife had always had sexual issues with her husband. It all started when she discovered her husband impregnated another woman during peace keeping exercise in Liberia. She hadn’t allowed her husband touch her for over three months. This made the man randy and the sexual drive made him know outside existed. He looked from street to street in search of anything with a hole. In short, he was a dog……. “The breed I don’t know”.

Auntie Hassana has been wonderful. It has always been a hotel affair. She is the only person that had thought good of me off all my clients. She even suggested I get a two bedroom flat at the outskirt so that she could be coming there. Since Colonel is seeking refuge outside; she is also under my canopy. I serve her double dose every time she is around. She brings food for me and KUNU to replenish the lost milk from the factory. Her body is perfect and I wonder what her husband was looking for outside. If I was rich I could have married her but the fear of Colonel is the beginning of wisdom……

Ekene is a wonderful lady also. Close to my age without a husband, she is obviously frustrated. I service her Congo also every weekend. A bank manager with so much money; I wonder why guys are so blind to her. I guess it’s her pride. Instead of marrying me she still complains I don’t have a job and I drink too much. I pray she will meet the REV FR kind of husband when I’m done panel beating her body. Truthfully whoever marries Ekene is marrying just the body, no more engines.

As for Omotola, the woman I will never forget in a while for the big bum bum and the lovely sound tracks she posses. Omotola is married to Chief Adewale (the business mogul) as the eight wife.  According to the time table the man visits once a month. A man close to his seventies, trying to impress a 29 year old girl, will just slump and die. She discovered me when she went to a hair dressing salon. My talk was with emotions from Mrs Dranger. I didn’t know my performance with her was impressive. I knew she removed her wig and threw away at a time; I just thought it was a mild impression. She gave me only N28,000 after the affair.

My phone rang one evening and it was Omotola. She had invited me to Rockview hotel to view her rock bottom. I told her I don’t have transport fare which she agreed to pay. When I got there she narrated the story at the salon to me and asked me if I can make her feel like a woman again. I laughed out and got into action in a bit. She was first scared when she saw the umbrella size dick rolling out in measure but slowly and professionally I escorted it into her. She wrote a cheque and demanded her turn every weekend.

I have made little money from these adventures though but now I’m going professional. No more free drive. I want to use this medium to tell the following girls that I’m no longer interested in their Indomie sex. They will just bring Indomie to the house and open their legs for me to activate them. Kemi, Polina, Happiness, Joy, Caroline, Bumpy, Gertti, Sandra, Sophia, and lolly, please I now have a fee. Short time, N20,000. For my madams I know you will use your church mind but nothing less than N40,000.

Add the storyteller on 7EF2A15C for more information and stories ……………

SHOULD I GO AHEAD?

We all know break-up circumstances are difficult situations, but when we feel we are doing it for the right cause, we aren’t bothered. Relationships become boring and disgusting statements become the order of the day. You start to realise dictions as native as they were and mouth odours start springing up as excuses. He doesn’t have gist and he is even too far from me. Some excuses come like; he stalks too much and if he does otherwise, he doesn’t even check up on me. No matter what he does there is always something wrong.

When a woman’s mind is made up; there is little or nothing the guy can do. It is a tested scenario but the testimony of Winifred was so amazing. Was she making a mistake or she was doing something good for herself. As the saying goes “don’t marry for money, but go where the rich reside and marry for love”. It was her birthday and everybody’s DP was glowing with her face. It is a perfect face with no wrinkles. Lovely boobs like that of a virgin and the most amazing is the structure of the full body. She was heavenly beautiful; cultured in one of the most amazing families with values. She studied medicine in school which added up to her value but she never allowed that get into her head.

Victor was Winifred’s best friend through medical school. They were best friends since their first year. The friendship was so great that people suspected them at a time but in all truth the closest they have ever been was a kiss. One of those drunk nights. Their house jobs have separated them but they still kept in touch like two love birds trying to reunite. The pictures were changing on victor’s DP and then Chris saw the beautiful face. He called victor in a demand for her BBPIN and particularly her phone number. It took a while before victor accepted. He called Winifred at first for permission which she gave so easily. It wasn’t so easy for victor to agree but he had promised himself never to be jealous over Winifred any longer.

Chris had to travel to Lagos to see her two days after her birthday and he delivered one of the most surprising gifts from a guy in a short while of acceptance as a friend. Chris is a tall dude who inherited three small businesses from his dad in three different states in Nigeria. He is a busy dude with a little bit of money but obviously going to be better with the zeal he is expending on his work. He lost himself in this new found love and gave in everything for her to tune her mind towards him. It took two good months of conviction before the wings of Winifred was curbed in the arms of Chris.  It took another three months for sex to be introduced. When her mind was made up about him he changed a little without getting to know. He has lost five straight months in his work thus he needed to catch up with work. The calls reduced, no more dinner and the funfair was all gone. She understood at first but gradually the whole fun that caused her mind to change was disappearing before her sight and she was acting up in anger and quietness. The whole Chris that was her source of love and life was freezing away with busy schedules and both didn’t see it going.

Their first night was a calculated night. She had made up her mind as he was getting tired of multiple nights of trials without a sex verdict. He needed to be sure those wonderful laps and succulent breast could be diagnosed into a wonderful and greasy entrance also. He has planned the night for a long while now but on her side the plan was different. He tried to get her drunk but he didn’t know she was a fish. She sipped slowly until she started acting irrational. Chris felt he has won tonight as she was high. It was his turn to devour and apologize the next morning but to his surprise when they got to his house she was in charge. She pulled her clothes and stepped into the bathroom for a quick shower and to Chris’s surprise he was invited to join her. The session transformed into the room and the bed wasn’t enough for them. The whole session lasted over three hours and the Kogi girl looked Chris in his face and said baby I want more. The whole night Chris has been waiting for has turned around to haunt him. He played with her a little longer and sleep came. The session continued like that for the next two months and afterwards Chris suddenly discovered he needed to be more serious. He had opened the legs she has kept close for a while now and leaving her in oblivion is like opening a can of sugar in front of ants trying to see if they would lick.

Winifred was in love but Chris was not there.

She had just closed from the hospital one faithful day when this guy rushed in a girl in a pool of blood. The emergency unit rallied all doctors on duty to save the life of this beautiful young model-like girl who had cut her veins in a suicide attempt because she wanted the guy by all means. She had to stay another four hours with the help of other doctors to salvage the situation and save her life. She was asked to question the guy about the incident and from that moment Chris was lost in her head. This guy was perfect in all aspects. If one thought Chris was rich, Manny was wealthy. He was born in wealth and still wealthy. At 33 he had two masters degree and he is in school for his PHD. He graduated from Harvard and his PHD was in Yale. He had an Arabian look mixed with African and his accent was something to build on. The next 3 weeks saw her talking more to Manny than Chris. She wasn’t really expecting Chris’s call again. She now can miss his calls and now he is getting to suspect but she’s not bothered anyway.

 I love Manny and we are getting along. I didn’t allow him wait that much for me to give in everything. I walk naked in front of him and with joy we do everything together. The mum and dad love me also. The mum calls me every day. With Manny; Winifred pays little or no attention to the audience but Chris is still there…

The problem is Chris is coming to Lagos in four days; should I just call it off with him or still hide it?

RED TAPE 2

NOREE and Thelma are two lovers the whole town knows. The love they exhibit spans beyond the eyes can see. To many they have been ordained from heaven to be married. But something was always going to be wrong. NOREE’S father was a staff at the palace and the closeness to the king as one of the king’s advisor was felt when he was alive. The feud that led to his death was a calculated one that the whole town knows it was the king’s handwork. He was so opposed to the dictatorship and corrupt practices of the king. His complain gained him so much followership that threatened the throne. One morning we all woke up to the realization of the hideous truth that Chief Nelson was no more.  

The whole town was sober for a week. He was celebrated as one of the bravest persons the town has ever produced. His legacy was what we built on and in all respect NOREE would die for this same course.

Shortly after his death NOREE was invited to the palace and offered the position his father just left. The arrangements were made but he had to swear to an oath that he was in no way going to oppose the king’s decision. He was also bribed into promoting the king’s image in public. This would mean he is going against the fight his father started. It was tempting but he declined the offer. With all anger the king banned him from the palace and stopped the relationship he was having with Princess Thelma.

It took Princess Thelma forever to comprehend that NOREE was no more going to come into the palace. She has also being banned from seeing him. She could remember the first day they met. It was during the ORGANZA festival. She hasn’t seen a tall fine boy like that in the whole town of DURIN. Something moved within her when he approached her. His introduction was easy as his father was the king’s right hand man.  And in couple of days they were spending all the time together. The queen had also accepted NOREE as a prospective son in-law but all these were thrown into the wind. In Thelma’s voice after their first sex “queen mother; NOREE just deflowered me” and the queen asked how was it? He filled me completely. I loved every bit of it. I thought it was going to be painful but he was just too gentle and perfect. I wished he never stopped. But he did something I didn’t understand. What’s that my princess? Before he put his manhood into me he lubricated it with his mouth first. And I loved it but you never taught me that. Thank the gods he taught you. I can’t teach you everything my daughter. These whole fantasies have been withdrawn by the selfish moves of the king.

NOREE had wonderful experiences he shared also with his friend about Thelma. I never knew she could accept my offer so soon. It was heavenly and the gods really supported it. Her breast is perfect and firm. Every touch of her sends a sensation across my spine. Her weight is bearable on me and those fair laps is forever what I want. Since the day I saw Thelma I never saw another woman. She is a beautiful distraction and with her I’m choosing no other direction.

Both worlds of fantasy can never be real again except NOREE goes to the palace and apologizes to the king. He must also swear an oath not to betray the king. Thus NOREE’S acceptance was to go the palace and accept the offer; swear the oath but betray the king on the long run. He was going to cause Thelma to cry once again. He has to be calculated in these whole step he is about to take. Can he afford to do all these? The convictions were high and the bravery was obvious. He changed his clothes and stepped out on a journey that has no end. He was walking into his death and becoming the hero the world needed. For the love of his woman he had consideration but for a woman he hasn’t even seen in months he can afford to do otherwise.

Slowly and surely he walked through the huts on his way to the palace. He wasn’t armed at all but he knew once he gets his way into the palace, he would convince the princess to come out and perform the sacrifice for them. Lots of things roamed his mind but bravery pushed him further.  As he was approaching the palace, the guards were sceptical of what Chief Nelson’s son and a part of the rebel group was coming to do in the palace. He told them he wanted to see the king. He was frisked from head to toe and escorted into the palace compound. He looked up the balcony and saw Thelma. She couldn’t hold herself any longer thus she ran from the stairs down to meet NOREE. She jumped on him and gave him a deep kiss. This time; the king was watching. When she stepped back a little NOREE discovered a protrusion in her tummy and with tears in her eyes she said……… I knew you were going to come back. Your baby is in here. The whole game plan changed when NOREE discovered Thelma is pregnant for him and in all deceit he accepted the king’s offer.

Waiting for NOREE and Thelma was now a delusion and time was not on our side any longer. We needed a way out and the only way was now STELLA. 

RED TAPE

It was a perfect plan with no leakages. A brave incidence of contentment mixed with pains. Death is a constant in this mission. The number of people that will die is what the variable becomes. Days and months of planning is about to be carried out in less than thirty minutes. The atmosphere would be put into a deep cry from the ravage about to be done. The spies have confirmed the targets and they are still as loose as ever. We will run through them and kill as many as possible. We were ready and nothing was going to stop us apart from the red tape.

The adventures that led to these feats were mere operational misinterpretations. The pains it has caused can be directed towards displease between the government and the governed. The damages were more mental than physical thus we needed to show them how we felt whichever way. The movement was formed over six months now and from the inception we have all sworn to make an overthrow very soon or we all die in groin of our quietness. But the long awaited day is about to be changed into a spiritual run off by the opposition we have created. In all our plans we worked in cells creating an exposure that is not clear to all. We have been through this most times when one of us ends up being the tattle to the government but this particular day we are so sure nothing was going to stop us until we knew about the red tape.

HBD DAPO ALLEY

The land of DURIN has been known by all to be a land of blessing; a land that flows with milk and honey. Foreigners have always had interest in this land based on the quality of the produce it has established from the days of old. This blessing has now become a curse to us.

The wealth it has generated of late has been siphoned by some cabals called the elites. These elites pride in their evil acts as if they were ordained by God to cheat the poor. We have been quiet enough about these acts and now it’s our turn to act the other way. I can’t forget when my fiancée was taken in the name of welfare. Elders have never paraded shame as much as this in my whole historical stories. Even our gods were bribed and shame was covered with lots of riches. The framework that holds the society I was proud to call mine has been torn apart by nothing but bad leadership. We shall fight it with the last drops of our blood and sweat. Nothing personal but for generations to come and for the nation called DURIN to still be in existence.

The d day was here and all energies were geared together for the rebellious acts we were about to establish. Nothing can stop us not even the so called cabals and there boys until we discovered the red tape.

What could be done? And how fast can we go? We can’t wait another day without achieving this feat we have expended all our energies on. We have become a threat but how come they knew we were coming today. We tried to fish out the mole in us again and know the extent he has sold out but it was impossible for us. The clock keeps ticking and young bloods who are angry for revenge has been placed at different locations to sweep into the whole town and cause the havoc that will earn us our freedom.

HBD MR ENA RAVERRO

The king has been told by the gods of the land that the plan on ground would get him out of the seat. He can’t stop it but he can postpone it. What can he do he demanded the dibia; who consulted for him and suggested except he uses the red tape. The red tape is a tool used in the olden days to postpone an invasion on the town by foreign forces. It makes the town invincible for a while and helps exhaust the strength of the people fighting them. It has only one solution and the only way we can win this way was to locate REBECCA.

The whole land of DURIN has two virgins who were above the age of 21. The cabal has slept with all matured girls. Prostitution became more lucrative than farming. There was nowhere in the world where a woman’s body had powers like in the land of DURIN.  They exhaust the pockets of these men with sexual activities but Rebecca and Thelma kept themselves like saints to be canonized.

We rushed to Rebecca’s house to brief her on the situation of things in the village but we met her absence. Her mother told us she had gone to the stream to fetch water. The speed to the stream was extreme nut we discovered we didn’t see her there. Could she have gone somewhere else? We were confused until we heard a sound from afar in the bush. We slowly trailed it and when we got there we discovered Rebecca has been raped by one the chiefs. We rushed to her side and when we tried to catch the running chief he just put on his arm the red tape and he disappeared.

Blood stains covered REBECCA laps and the pains could be seen in her eyes. With Rebecca out of the equation all hope lie in THELMA. But who would go the king’s court to bring out the princess to support us against his father. It was now a lost course and we were thinking surrender was the only way out until someone raised up his hand ………. His name is NOREE

 

HBD NOREE D BOSS

A LONG STORY

Many a times we use the words “it’s a long story” to cut people off from explaining into details the essence of what they are asking.  The explanations might not be mentally pleasant to us thus we shorten the whole history into these four words. 

It’s been a year we were friends and we had a mutual friend we both share. I knew him first and from the first day I never hid the fact that I like everything about him. Umar was a perfect gentleman with all values a woman will be looking for. This was the first time religion wasn’t a consideration in my emotions. I loved him beyond tribe and religion. A tall and handsome dude who speaks three Nigerian languages fluently will beat one into cadence. 

It was a Friday afternoon; he was coming out of a mosque not so far from my house. I drove and nearly hit him as he was lost on his walk. I shouted at him before I saw the face. When I saw his face I came down and asked if he needs a ride. He hopped into the back seat and there my friend took charge. 

Freda is my name I told him and my stupid friend told him she is Awa. Because I was driving, I had less time to chat and in less than three minutes we got to the place he parked his car. He hopped off the car with multiple thank you and he exchanged numbers with Awa. They started communicating and then my jealousy started. 

From that day men became very irritating to me. The only picture that came to my head was that of Umar and every day was another adventure for Umar and Awa. My hatred for Awa grew bigger by the day and jokingly I told her I was supposed to be the one having all that she was been showered with, and she laughed with a statement thus …. Umar deserves someone better than you Freda that’s why I’m pampering him.  Those words keep ringing in my head from that day. I swore if I can’t have him both of us will not but there relationship was growing stronger. The whole town started getting to know them and there I got pissed the more until that faithful day when umar came home looking for Awa, she wasn’t around. Her phone was also off. He waited a while in the sitting room as he couldn’t run back into his car due to the heavy downpour. I tried to maneuver him in all ways I could but he wouldn’t even look my way. The skirt I wore was the shortest in the world reflecting my thighs and my white panties. I made sure my cleavage was obvious and I removed my bra to expose the more. I was ready for him to come straight inside of me without any caution. But it seems the more I did the less he saw. 

At this moment I tried my last style which was the phone call saga. The call came in from a friend and I started saying the opposite to catch his attention. “It was a callous thing for a guy to treat me that way after spending over four million for him”. This particular call caught his attention and when I ended the call I started crying. He moved closer asking what the problem was. I held unto him closely and let his hand feel my soft butt with real tears dropping from my eyes. He couldn’t resist the softness of my boobs and suddenly I could feel his manhood getting larger and stronger. I dipped my hands inside his trousers and like a hungry lion I started joggling it in my mouth.

The events that followed suit …. is a long story. 

When I was done getting rid of all his clothes and mine I made the couch the center of experiment. We stumbled on ourselves like wild animals on heat period. He tried to caution with talks which I ended up rejecting with kisses. It was in the middle of the moaning that the front door opened and the sight of Awa covered the room. I continued like I was lost in the fun shoving my breast through for no word to come out of his mouth. Awa was mad and she said…….. Freda I’ll never forgive you. She slammed the door and that was the last of her I saw for the next two weeks. 

Umar was concerned about Awa really and I ask why. A guy with a G class Mercedes, as tall as 6’2, with a muscular built and lovely beard, is dying for one girl who has small breast; small fine face and only the ass can pass more than mine. I know one thing; he will come back begging for more. 

I first saw it on instagram; I thought it was a Photoshop. Then I saw it on facebook with comments below

Then I called my grandmother in the ancient city of Benin; the remaining was a long story.

SOMETHING MISSING

Hunger: an elementary stock of painful feelings inside your tummy, which is capable of making one so disturbed and can start irrational behaviours in a short while. That was the state I was when I was driving into town. The Gtbank at Lokoja had swallowed my ATM card which was another problem altogether. We couldn't risk using my uncle's card anywhere else from the city. A little traffic at the check point at Abaji and straight I was in the city of Abuja. I called my fiancée to prepare something for Uncle Richard and I and I've planned the sleep would be very wonderful after I wash up the stress from the journey. 

My music box has always been my phone. I download and play them immediately. I have always loved music. Thus this day my phone was connected to my car stereo. Any call that comes in was on speaker, to help me with driving and receiving a call. Twenty minutes after I told my fiancée we were coming home to eat she returned a call.

I knew she was looking forward to my presence with her at home. I picked and spoke to her through the car speaker and the following was what she said

Fiancée: baby I'm making that kind of special noodles you used to make but I know I'm missing something. I've added curry and maggi. I blended the green pepper with crayfish before adding it and a little onion to spice it up. I sprinkled a little bit of salt to taste and drop of milk to garnish the fluffiness. Two tea spoons of baking powder and Ugwu leaves have been added also. I tried to check the last recipe from Google but network is poor. Baby please what's still missing …………….

I looked at my uncle and

NEXT LIE IS ????

I always waited for my wife to start getting dressed before I go into the bathroom. I hate waiting for her while dressing which is an intentional act of frustrating men. She was seated in front of the dressing mirror when I stepped into the shower. It was when my phone rang that I remembered it wasn’t pass worded at the moment. I wanted to run out but trust has to be built in every relationship not to talk of marriage. Thus I let it ring but I asked who that was and she said just a number.

When I came out of the bathroom I went straight to my phone to check who that could be.  The number wasn't so familiar but in a short while another call came in. This one has a name attached to it. It was a close friend of mine. Sincerely, we were partners in crime. I told her to pick it and put it on speaker for me so that I can do other things and still talk to Femi. The voice that spoke when I called in with a hello was the reason  behind this story. 

I made up my mind to stop these whole acts of sleeping around months before I got married. It wasn’t so easy though but with time I reduced the number to two. When it was a month to my wedding I had only one extra girl I was sleeping with. I was addicted to her. Her frame was the perfect girl for me and she loves everything about my sex. I knew it would be difficult for me to ever leave her and that decision to keep her as a side chick had led to this problem.

The voice was hers and instead of asking if my wife was around she just started ranting on the phone. So you don’t want to pick my call right. Anyway I’m in your friend’s office and he said I can’t abort any longer. Thus it means I am keeping this one. Dr Femi, please explain to your friend and he stupidly started explaining. I looked at my wife and all I could see in her was anger, disgust, hatred, pain and death. When the call finally ended I looked at her and went on my knees with statement “baby, there is another side to the story”………………………

What can you advise him to say?