SHADOWS OF THE PAST PART 1

Nothing scares me like failure thus; one should know nothing amazes me like success. I found out through my religious studies that the devil always uses our fantasies to hunt us. As for me my problem was getting married. I have come to the knowledge of the truth that I love women and them in tune love me. I have more handsome friends around me who even have more finances to squander on this worldly act of womanizing but these ladies can’t just stop coming close to me. Instead of me promising heaven on earth they accuse me of not accepting their offers. I was a professional in conviction I know and the appeal seems endless but in this particular situation I met my march. A march I wish could be my bride for a life time. The only lady in my whole life that can confront my conviction. 

It was lunch and we all walked out of the hall like professionals. Terrorism is the newest market for security agents in the world and as a criminologist I found myself as one of them thinking of a way out. The security world doesn't have most of the beautiful ladies but have ladies who could easily change their looks in deceit to get whatever they wanted. This particular day I saw the opposite. She looked like a representative of zenith bank (those girls in Maitama branch) in her attire and the way she spoke when she asked the question I knew she was up to the thrill. Approaching a woman has always been the easiest of it all but this day I thought a second time. I suddenly became fidgety and lost my confidence. Something in me told me to walk towards her and the other said I should just wait…. She’ll walk towards you it said. I didn’t believe any of the two but I found myself in front of her and the words came out as easy as it could be. 

Lovely presentation I guess; and in line with the question you asked I think the differentiation theory could be used in analyzing such intentions. The talk went on and on even after we got our food and were seated. She became so engulfed in what I was saying and after thirty minutes I asked the killer question that always gave me the go ahead “do you understand” and she said no. I was misplaced for a while at her no. every lady always tell me they understand even when I didn’t understand myself. But as for her she said no and asked me to come again. Sincerely it was then I knew I can’t remember what I was saying. My conviction has been confused and I needed another way out. I looked at her and tried to change the topic for another day then she pulled out her pen from her jacket and wrote her number on the serviette paper. Call me later if you have the balls and next time be sure of what you are saying when you sit in front of me. I held on to the paper and my last wish was please can I know your name? She looked back and told me Stella as she walked away. Then I concluded I wasn’t that special and this must be the lady but………

It was seven pm and I waited till that moment to call her. She picked after the first ring like she was expecting it and the greetings followed like we were old friends. She invited me to her hotel room and asked me to get her a bottle of whiskey while coming. We sat at the balcony of her hotel room and started the longest conversation I ever had. She asked me a question to bring out the truthful part of me or rather expose a past which could affect the future I assume. I choose the truth and that was the moment I lost my confidence completely. Do you like to sleep with me or you want a real deal? I looked at her and tried to convince her but in all truth I told her I wanted her for a life time.

She stood up and the story began. You are the third guy confident enough to have said this to me that he wanted a real relationship with me. The former two are dead now and I don’t know anything about how they died. But they died the same way. They fell off a balcony and died after cheating on me. I got scared when I heard what happened to them and it got scarier when I discovered it was always after a cheat. At this moment she turned and looked at me and the story of the first began. ……………..

TRUE FATHER

Where do I go from here? Who else do I need at the moment? I am home and I know it. Many of my acquaintances (though few) have told me I can’t live in this world alone. Every man is dependent on another they say, but I stood up in the middle of the service to ask the question……… who have I been depending on?

Born into a family that my mother wasn’t even sure who my father was; you’ll know I had lesser dependency level compared to you. She was so poor I’m still tracing if she had a family she came from. I grew not knowing any cousin, uncle or aunt, just no relative at all. To me I look like no one and no one cared to look at me in respect of resemblance. My existence was daily and the menial jobs I did earned a living. Sincerely I had no life and I should be close to twenty six years of age. 

Growing up with a mentality that I am not equal to others made me a slave in my nation. The luxury of houses with windows and children sleeping on mattresses were assumptions I could never imagine. I never wore a new cloth in my life till four weeks ago. I always had some people who could look at me and dash me their rags. I started enjoying the status and lived within those confines of poverty and pains. To me that was reality. From one incomplete building to another; craving in the midst of mosquitoes and ants, I build up my immunity to little illnesses like malaria and typhoid. I fed on what human despise and munched waste in houses during occasions around the corner. All the people around me knew me for one thing……. Hakuna is strong.

 The strength that I needed for survival lied within me. I thought I was respectful because I called everybody uncle and auntie, even primary school children.  They later gave me a name on the busiest street in gwarinpa where I sleep (matata). I was a nobody, no lineage, I didn’t know my local government, I don’t know my age, I don’t even know my surname. What a life to live. I spoke three Nigerian languages but none fluently. I understood English a little but can’t speak correctly that much. I envied people that went to school and sometimes I stay at the gate of the Gwarinpa School to spy at transformation in the process. There was something about the environment that I noticed and that was “everyone that went in came out differently”. Thus one night I jumped the fence of the school to find out what really happens there. I saw a hall with chairs and table and a wall with something white. On this white board was written GOD.

 I kept the picture of this word in my mind even though I couldn’t pronounce it. Then one faithful evening I saw that picture on a signpost and asked a woman at our marijuana joint how to pronounce it and she spoke it out. I kept the word in my mind for twelve good months and i know one day I would have an encounter with this person that causes transformation inside that school. 

One faithful day, in the midst of hunger and frustration, some set of people were doing their ministration and they were sharing food and cloth to people. I was invited into their midst and for the first time I had new clothes. They gave me eight shirts and three trousers. They took me to a barbing salon and asked where I stayed. They took me away from the shanty house I lived in and brought to a better place. They fed me with good food and for the first time I entered into the luxury of what I always assumed. I cried so well that night in joy. At the end of the day I asked Brother Paul to tell me in all sincerity who they are. And he told me they are children of God. Immediately I knew I had to meet their daddy. I was amazed what God has done for me to allow me meet his children. I told them my experience about how well I have been looking for their dad. And that I have kept HIS name in my heart for over a year now. 

They looked at me and started crying. They all hugged me in tears and told me to kneel down. I asked what we were about to do and they said we are about to talk to our daddy. I was so happy and thus I knelt down. They said all the wonderful things in the world to HIM and told me to tell HIM whatever I wanted to tell HIM. I asked where he was and they answered he has always been around. He has been waiting for me to talk to HIM ever since but as I wouldn’t notice him, he sent them to me. I looked around and saw nobody and in all curiosity I told HIM, God please show you to me. And this was the message I got. He said I should walk into their toilet and look into the mirror and whatever I see there……. That is God. To my surprise the image was me and that led me to church to meet the senior pastor. 

My brothers and sisters, now I have given up everything to God and the rest of the story I guess you know. I now live in a good place. I have good food to eat and joy unspeakable is my housemate. I am covered with peace of mind and the grace that surrounds me in amazing but the reference in this story is eighteen people attend this particular church on my street and none of them ever came to me to tell me about their God our God. The almighty God sets all things in motion and expects to see the actions of men towards one another.

Now that I’ve known God as my father also I am no longer fatherless.

 He gave me the Holy Spirit who is teaching me all things. I now know the good from the bad and discovered all through those times that I was suffering God was always with me. Those times I slept in the midst of mosquitoes; God covered me, when I felt I have never eaten all day, I was fed spiritually. Those happy days in my penury God told me a joke. And when he discovered I wouldn’t come closer he sent me to the school if the church wouldn’t come to me.

Think about these for a minute, are you truly a reflection of God in your office, in your house, at school, even in church or wherever you find yourself. Don’t think you are too special to have found God that so many people are looking for. Talk about God to someone today and if necessary do more than talk. A candle looses nothing by lighting another one. God loves you so you should love others also

LOVE OR LUST 2

I said hello and started acting like there was network problem. I ended the call and looked outside the windows for her traces, how the hell did she know I was at Perris? I called her back as I walked into the toilet and when she picked we both complained about network. I thought you would be out drinking at that your normal joint at Perris but it seems the whole environment is calm, she said. Hope you aren’t missing me too much and I answered I wish you were here. The conversation went on for the next five minutes and the call ended with the normal I love you.

 I rushed into the room as I dived on the bed. I held Enen immediately and started kissing her. She gave the normal feminine repulsion but the powers that lie in me were greater than hers.  It was the second best kiss I ever had. I can’t remember the best anyway. The kiss led to raising the gown as I fondled the whole body within. I slowly pulled it off completely. Obvious in front of me was a wonderful woman with curves like a mermaid. My wonderful hands swiftly removed her bra and like a ripe fruit, my mouth got a hold on the nipples. It was tender and sweet, luscious and succulent, thirst quenching and juicy. Normally I spent a lot of time on breast and I don’t know why. My mouth concentrated on the nipples like it was a final exam practical as my hands were going down there. She started moaning in languages I don’t understand and I followed suit. The whole drama was about to change 

She began by holding my head and gradually started pushing the head down to the ...… I didn’t understand at first and by the time I realized what she wanted my mouth was in between her legs. I tried to stop breathing at first but with the soundtrack coming from her I continued like it was government job. I stayed at that position for over thirty minutes as she was always about to come. I swallowed all the juice coming from that location as my teeth and tongue did the wonders of that day. It was now time for the real thing. I straightened the condom in conjunction with my erection and I positioned it at an angle where the first thrust is going to hit the right point. I moved my waist backward and I stopped ………………………………… I looked at Lukman my crazy friend and asked: if this story I’m telling you was real, is it love or lust? He said this is pure lust. Hmmm okay let me stop and write about love

LOVE AND LUST

 

 Late nights; late mornings…………. Results of good friends in bad clothing.  I’ve not yet realized I have relocated from Lagos to Enugu. The shift in place of primary assignment has been one of the greatest forms of relocation. This time around I didn’t shift; my wife did. I can’t leave my wife staying alone in a state capital where wealth and crime is extreme thus I had to move also. It was gradual as no one expects me to leave what I have been doing in the busiest city in Africa and move to a coal city of Enugu just because my wife got a job over there. The shuffles were in and out which spanned two weeks in intervals.

 The business in Lagos was getting slower, Enugu was getting livelier. I’ve been thinking of how to relocate my business from Lagos to Enugu but the resources in Enugu doesn't seem enough for my greed. The brain kept on calculating until one faithful night. I got the hit’; a new business to spring up the emotions of the Ibos in their flamboyant expectancies. I needed partners to make it a reality thus I picked up my phone around 6.30 am in the morning and placed calls to three of my friends. They were all interested thus we fixed a meeting for 11 o clock that morning. I ended the call and booked a flight immediately. I rushed to the bathroom, got dressed, packed a few things as I would still be going to my house in Lagos and set out to get a cab take me to the airport. The flight was 9.05 am and I left my house 7.20 am. This 45 minutes journey took two hours that faithful day. Thanks to some kind of rituals being orchestrated to my delay. I prayed for a delay in the flight as this meeting was so important to me but as fate would have it; I saw the take off of the plane. I rushed to the customer service desk to reschedule my flight and at that moment I noticed two of us missed our flight. 

 

Hi, hello …. You missed you flight too? I asked. Yeah she said with a tone I would never forget. So what are we going to do because I need to be in Lagos? Hmmm same with me she said and the conversation continued like that was what I came to the airport to do. We chatted for a while as we started looking for another airline that could make Lagos within our schedule of time. All were evening flights and that’s really unreasonable to both of us. At last we settled for a flight by 5pm. 

Whoever said love doesn't exist at first sight has never seen Enen. She wasn’t the most attractive lady you’ve ever seen but you can’t remember who you’ve seen that more attractive than her. A medical student in one of these private universities who grew up in the Caribbean. Her accent is a mixed concept of African and Puerto Rican. Her slight bow legs and lovely hips correspond at an angle just too perfect for any young or old man. In all sincerity Enen was perfectly built.  I discovered one thing about beauty that spans make up; it produces brains also. Almost all the beautiful girls I’ve seen have a good sense of reasoning also. I don’t mean girls like Aisha and Funke………… those one misplaced their brains.

 Enen was a 300 level medical student and for me she knew everything about medicine. We talked like we were old friends and it was 3 pm announcement that made us know we were hungry. We walked to the restaurant within the airport to get the normal jollof rice and chicken and gladly I paid. All I was doing was to build a lasting friendship with a lady I just met. We spent some time eating like we were being watched. Every part of me was cautious and she was also impeccable.  The food wasn’t particularly good since she didn’t complain, who am I to do so?

As we walked back to the waiting lounge an announcement came up again and this time it was the good bad news. “There has been another delay on beta flight no 2D77E from Enugu to Lagos. Passengers should please bear this in mind”

There was shouting at the waiting lounge and I looked at everyone in surprise like if only they knew I’ve been here since 9 am they would shut up. Some walked to the flight attendants to ask questions and the only response Enen could give me was to rest on my shoulder. At this point I wished the flight would never happen again. I held her close to me and the softness of her body was sweet. I looked at her and said: don’t you think we should just get a place to stay her in Enugu and tomorrow morning we’ll make sure we get to the airport on time? And she said we’ll get a place to stay in Lagos. 

Immediately I started searching for the best and affordable hotel in Ikeja. Thoughts roam my mind and I felt I shouldn’t be too impressive else she might see me as being false. I held on to three hotels in my mind and I confirmed my FCMB atm was with me. It was supposed to be family savings account but at this time I was ready to add her to the family.

The plane landed and I got a cab. Perris hotel Opebi, and the guy said 4000 naira. I slowly opened the door for her as we walked into room 112. Spacious and exotic. She fell on the bed in all tiredness and the short gown she wore this faithful day rose a little for me to see her panties. It was at this point that my wife called me. I looked at the phone in disbelief and as I picked she asked……………….. What are you doing at Perris?