MAN OF GOD PART 1

The words came to me like a relief material comes to a displaced person in pains. Not that I was ever displaced but I knew what it meant when someone tells you through practical means that there is hope for tomorrow. I haven’t had peace of mind nor known happiness for so many years now. It has been a series of pain for me. Justly I didn’t know where else to run to. Crime came calling but the consequences beeped to my face every time I think about it. I have borrowed beyond my reach. I needed a bail out else I will be bullied out of my neighbourhood soon. I owed all that was selling in kiosk and small shops; neighbours, both friends and foe had my name in their creditor’s list. I wasn’t ashamed any longer thus I became hopeless. 

I wasn’t just jobless…. I was unemployable. I have squandered life beyond repairs. While growing up; I created a delusional life that never existed. I lied beyond my reach. I didn’t expect nature to catch up with me so soon. When it did eventually everyone I once lied to, I had to confess to later. I became so remorseful as if they could help but when most of them knew about how well I’ve lied to them; they distanced themselves the more. 

Two things the kiosk owners never complained about when you plan to owe in my slum neighbourhood is cigarette and pure water. (Sachet water). I have survived on these commodities for days now. The luxury of adding weight was lost. What I was considering was not loosing more than this. Old friends saw me and said I have trimmed extremely and I laugh within as if they ever saw me in any gym. Situations trim you faster than any coach. One will loose weight both physically and spiritually. 

 One day after watching the arsenal vs Chelsea match, one of the guys we watched it together at the viewing center called me aside and told me he wanted to talk with me. He had earlier bought me two bottles of HERO beer, a luxury I seldom grasp…….. He told me he was impressed with my analysis and that with my intonation it was obvious condition kept me here. He will like me to come to his church the next day for a week day service, maybe we can continue from there. As he was ending the statement he brought out two thousand naira for transport. Then tears started dropping from my eyes.

I haven’t held that amount of money in eight months and suddenly someone I didn’t know from Adam just handed it over to me in a view to help me………. I knew God has opened my case. Immediately he tried to pet me into stopping the tears party, the spirit of falsehood came over me again and lies rolled out of my mouth like I was speaking in tongues. It got to a stage I stopped and told him we will see tomorrow. He was so convinced about my lie that he added an extra two thousand naira. I walked him to his car as he gave me his card. I had no phone thus I was going to call him. I was so happy but there was another problem. There was nowhere to buy things to eat and drink in my neighbourhood. I had bills to pay at all joints. Some didn’t even want to see me again. I had to use one of my friends that has a worse situation than me to achieve this feat of satisfying myself that night. Before I went to bed I had squandered two thousand naira. 

I woke up the next morning with a terrible hangover. I needed to visit the bush for toileting but it was raining. I tried sleeping again but my tummy won’t permit. It wasn’t used to yesterday’s luxury thus it needed to expel some. I looked around the corner and saw Susan’s umbrella. We are not on talking terms because of ordinary N9000…… I sneaked to pick it up and off I went to the nearest bush to expel the waste product. 

As I was there I started thinking about Jeffery. How he was dipping his hands in his pocket to bring out money yesterday. I asked myself one question……… what’s it about his church that he wanted me to come and see or experience. Anyway I will go. 

By the time I got back home Susan has left the house. I kept his umbrella back where I saw it but another neighbour knew I was the one that took it. There will be commotion when she comes back but I will be in church by that time thus I wasn’t bothered. 

I tried all the combination of clothes I had and none looked presentable enough to wear to that kind of church. At the end of the day I fell back on my traditional attire. I used it for weddings and burials alone. Strictly for functions. Look a little tidy else you might never eat rice. The program begins by 6.30pm; I was there before 5.30pm. I trekked from the house to save the remaining change with me but I miscalculated the distance thus I was so early. Jeffery was very happy to see me and in ten minutes he has introduced me to forty people in the church. I was ushered to a seat in front and smiles surrounded me like I was in heaven. I looked around and beauty overshadowed my thinking and for once in the last ten years I had no problem. The ambience alone was a solution.

I was lost in thought until she tapped me….. Are you expecting someone or I can sit? I removed my bible expressly and the best curves in a woman sat next to me. She dropped her bag on the floor in front of her as she knelt to worship God. She prayed so well that I knew I was in the right place. I knelt down also but in two minutes I was done with the prayer. The truth is…… I have lost all relationship with the FATHER.

The Church

Not just a place of worship. It’s really supposed to be God’s house on earth. From the ushers to the protocol officers and all workers I saw that day, they carry a glory that solves problems. When I stepped into the church; depression left from the entrance. The beauty of the place was they seem problemless. It took thirty minutes for the church to get filled and the choir started ministration. It was a beauty to behold. I knew I was at the right place. All the ladies could be my future partner but I needed to be part of them first. I knew no song but for the help of the projector I followed suit. I murmured when I didn’t get the tune and the breakthrough session started when the choir mistress or so said hold your neighbour. I stretched my hands to hold the beautiful damsel beside me but she threw her hands over my shoulder. I felt like crying one more time. I thought Jeffery showed love before but with this act of hers, I was home……… and in my mind I gave the church a name “LOVE”

WALKING AWAY 1

Risk is a basic tool in marketing. One isn’t sure if the next statement is going to cause the company a failure in the forthcoming adventure or a success is certain.

I have lived within this risk so well that I now became a risk myself. 

I have been with PARESS renewable energy for the last nine years. I grew through the ranks to become the senior marketing executives. Six out of the eight awards my company has won in the last eight years was accrued to my efforts. I loved working with PARESS because it gave me room to expand in my thought of being a better person in my career. But something was missing. I had no future in settling down as a wife. My life was all about work. The only time I had fun was companies’ end of the year functions or other formal invites from other companies. The fun was always professional in nature. Sincerely I was loosing my social life.

Tracy isn’t a better option as a friend. We both graduated the same year and met while we were youth corp members. She had nothing to add to me; same with me though but we understood ourselves. We got a two bedroom apartment and we stay together. We had no reason to quarrel in these last three years because we hardly see ourselves. She has a good side, she thinks on the spot.

I had resumed early as always and I was waiting for my boss to step in so I could give him a report on the updates with some prospective clients and some difficult ones. The frown on his face while he walked in was surprising. He answered every other person’s greeting apart from mine. He made it obvious there was something wrong and I hope it wasn’t me he was angry with. I gave a little time before I walked into his office to find out what was happening, but before the time was set for me he already called for me. He was with my executive director and his secretary and he asked me in front of them why I didn’t reply his mail he sent since Friday. 

I told him I was a lot busy with family stuffs and he went further by asking “what were you doing on Friday by 10 pm when I called you”……….. I looked at him in all confidence and took the risk of my life by telling him “I was having sex”.

They all looked at me with a view of surprise but I was still calm. In bits of seconds he handed over to me a letter which ended up being a query.

 In four hours explain to this company why your appointment shouldn’t be terminated. It was discovered that you are having an affair with a prospective client which is against the company’s guide. 

 As I received the letter; I walked solemnly into my cubicle to think of a reply before my bosses on why I fell in love with Frank. The first attraction I had in six years around an opposite gender is about to put me into a lot of trouble or liberate me from prospective feelings of loneliness.

My thoughts kept on roaming; what should I do and what I shouldn’t. Should I just give in to their complains and accept my wrong? The thoughts were unprofessional. Frank’s thought came back into my mind and I followed suit with a call to him. I didn’t tell him I have been offered a supposed quit notice in my office but sounded like I was checking up on him.

I got a notification of a mail and as I opened it, I saw it was from frank’s company. They just cancelled having any business to do with my company. I had ruined all I have been building in my career. I ended the call with him and I called Tracy. I narrated the whole issue to Tracy and she told me there was a way out. A way I didn’t see as good enough.

The time tuck faster this time as the four hours ultimatum dragged closer. I concentrated on Tracy’s advice and tried to pull it out as the most wonderful thing but I saw a lot of lapses in her defense. The thoughts of if it wasn’t going to work roamed my intents but that was the only way out for me.

It’s been six months I started the build up to the affair. Frank was a guy I met as a seminar organized by an international organization. He was good looking and his diction sold most of him to me. I noticed he wasn’t wearing a ring thus flowing with him wasn’t a problem. I didn’t intend to move further but ……

After the three days affair as colleagues in a seminar I dropped back into my professional calling as a marketing staff and demanded he build his inverters and batteries from our company. He has a 540million Naira project that just started off. I immediately introduced him to my boss and the follow up began. He was interested at first but we spent the next four months building terms and conditions. I didn’t know who was greedy as I have sent him to the business development unit. It was when it got a little dirty that I was called upon again. I started the whole conviction process again. This time we were getting closer. He was behaving to me like I had an affair with him and sincerely I loved it. It was our first outing when he invited me to a dinner. After we were done eating he stole a kiss. I stopped to think of me crossing the line but after a while I gave him a better one. From that moment on I was more attracted to him than the contract. I tried to caution myself many a times but the truth lied in the fact that my emotions were stronger than me. The closeness was noticed by Tracy and she complained like she was a genie. The whole affair was perfect without a hitch until this perfect day after work. He was waiting for me in front of my office and everyone in the office was starting as I packed my bags and walked majestically into the front seat of his car. I had made up my mind and I was ready for whatever was coming. That Friday night my boss sent a mail …….

A TRIP FOR TWO LOVERS

It’s been a healthy afternoon before the rain started pouring again. Tolu has felt a little bit of cold the previous day and she was praying it doesn’t lead to her getting to swallow drugs again. With the rain threatening this hard with dark clouds and winds from the Sahara; she knew it was time for her to get another trip to the hospital or better the pharmacy. She gets irritated easily and with an itching nostril sneezes doesn’t end. Driving became a luxury she can’t afford thus she called her very good friend Frank to please come take her to the pharmacy as the rain subsided to purchase her regular LORATYN. The pharmacy isn’t far though but ……

Frank was busy playing FIFA13 in his friend’s house. He was engulfed in the game believing one day he would win Noree to the game. It wasn’t going to be this particular day anyway. They both got up as a driver and escort in a trip to destiny. The drive wasn’t long from Noree’s house and by the time they got to Tolu’s house ……..

They were introduced to themselves as Frank was the only mutual friend but the friendship of that day is evident in our eyes today. While expecting Frank, Tolu has left her wallet on the sofa in the sitting room thus getting to the pharmacy, she had no money on her. Noree had to help the situation. Numbers were exchanged and calls began. Noree told Tolu all the truth about himself as Tolu held nothing back also. They became best friends in days and as the months rolled by they grew stronger. 

That trip brought two people together. The meeting brought two families together which in turn bind the relationship between two tribes. Nations of different cultures have agreed their love for each other in the name of this trip. And a destiny is born in this trip ………

06/06/2015 take a trip to the solemnization of TOLU and NOREE and if you can’t make it to the venue take a minute and say a word of prayer for them. God bless you

A COIN WITH 3 SIDES PART 1

With all good sides of life; lie a bad side. This balance is as spiritual as our souls. God created it that way for his glory. We are not to be blamed completely for our wrong doings sometimes when we find ourselves negatively in the uttermost side of the life. I have tasted the two and I would tell you all, one is better. Without the other one though, one’s appreciation will be without sincerity. When I looked back to those old times, I try to reiterate the feelings and pains mixed with seasons of happiness with the minimal cause of joy and nothing but tears of joy surrounds me in all happiness. I have suffered but……….

Twenty two years in a slum with no appeal of getting out of there was the height of lunacy. I was present in this field. We were three that rose to become generals in our different environment at my age. I was a true victim of my time just like the others. Two of us are present here today to joyfully commission this centre for rehabilitation because we know what it means to get out of ghetto.

My name is Feddy Ehikhator and my friend’s name is Daniel Rhodas. It’s quite unfortunate that Patrick isn’t here with us; may his soul rest in perfect peace.

I was panting with a sense of having my bath when I get back home. The whole bathroom in my neighbourhood was situated outside the buildings. We had a session of training by one of the big uncles in the hood. His name was Colonel Kundu. He was the shortest of all the generals but he was known for two things: his love for children and his love for football. He will always gather small boys and teach them how to play soccer. He was a maestro but he will never find his way into the national team or any meaningful club. There is a last attribute of him…. He smokes Indian hemp like his breath.

As I fetched water to go shower, I saw a light from a dark corner glowing brighter and dim at intervals. The bucket was getting full when the brightness caught my attention again. I put off the tap and walked towards the source of the light. As I got closer I heard a voice ask “who goes there” I answered it’s me Feddy.

Oh boy come wetin you de find?

I walked close to them in all confidence and after a little interrogation I was handed my first drags of Indian hemp. It took me to clouds I haven’t been before. Everything became clear and funny to me. I was there till midnight as I forgot I was supposed to have my bath. From that day till two months ago I was an addict to Indian hemp. I was 11 years old then.

School was boring as our teachers were different from us. They were teaching us things that were not applicable to our environment. I wasn’t going to live in London or the United States but all they emphasize on was to become a white man in black mask. I wasn’t really interested. I heard a voice speak deeper things to me every time I took a drag. I started writing those meanings down and the senses that came from them scared everyone around me. I wasn’t a school boy but I was intelligent. I was going to be a drop out, I knew but I promised myself it was going to be with a difference.

One faithful afternoon as I came back from school; my mum was mixing his ethanol in his drum with roots of many trees to be sold in the hood and my dad as lazy as he is was just smoking cigarettes and reading old newspaper like a student of history. I called their attention and told both of them I wasn’t interested in going to school any longer.

Mum felt bitter because she really wanted me and my sister to get through school so that we can leave the slum. But the truth was that the slum had taken charge of me. I hated civilization. I lived within a content and love of all; that what matters in the cities of the rich was filthiness to us. We shared everything and nobody was an island of anything. We are colleagues in all and discrimination was a punishable offence. The slum was a home until I met Linda.

The pitch we play on is a deserted road by the government. I heard it was once tarred but after the civil war the road has been left untouched. The gulley behind it make it impossible for any vehicular movement across they yard thus we turned it into our football pitch. There are different segments therefore one has to look for the group that plays like his and join them. Daniel and I were picked to play for under- 12 against the other street. We have trained continually for over 2 weeks thus our friendship had no obstacle. We were both weed smokers (although he started before me) but the game and school made us better friends. Daniel instigated my leaving school after he explained some peculiar thoughts to me.

Daniel: Feddy do you think you can one day become a white man?

Feddy: no

Daniel: then why are we stressing ourselves into learning what they know and they are not interested in learning what we know?

I took a long drag of weed as it burnt my fingers. It was about to finish and the drizzling rain won’t allow us run to the Lungu to get another wrap. We deliberated on the essence of school till midnight and like drug addicts and armed robbers we dragged ourselves home.

When I was fifteen years old, I was already a force to reckon with in my hood. At that time I and Daniel could lead a team of footballers to another hood in the same slum for a football match. By fifteen the following must have happened to you as a man in the hood.

You must have been stabbed at least once, you must have attempted rape, you must have tried smoking weed, you must know how to sing, you must try to play football, you must be a gambler, you must have tried alcohol, you must have impregnated a lady, you must know how to stab and you must have been arrested by the police.

As for me and Daniel we had more than enough of this.

I took a walk one day near the dump yard to see if there was any valuable to arrange for small dough. There I saw a girl who seems not to be like one of us. Her skin was fresh and her voice was heavenly. It was then I noticed the crack in my voice. She was somehow lost in her thoughts as she sat at the stairs at the entrance to the classroom. The dump yard isn’t too far from the school. I walked over to her side with the most romantic welcome I could imagine but instead she started shivering in fear. I looked at my hand and checked myself out again if anything was wrong with me. I told her not to be scared and that I meant no harm. She became a little comfortable around me and then her story began………………………

AM I USELESS

At  37, I don’t have a job, nor a wife or girlfriend, I don’t have money, I don’t have a degree to my name, I squat from friend’s house to another, I’m an alcoholic, I smoke like an exhaust of a car then I can say I’m useless. It’s not a new thing to me when people call me useless but in all these there is something I’m good at. Every night this thing keeps my phone ringing. I’m trying to commercialise it fully but the way to go is what I don’t know.  I had no influence over it. I was born like that.

That’s the only legacy my father left for me. This man died without a property to his name; not even a farm. He left only rags for us to clean up. I didn’t even know my father owed house rent before he died. He has slept with almost all the women in my village. The landlord’s wife was constant every evening for her dose. Reports reaching me told me my mum had to run away after the man nearly killed her with the hammer of horror. That was the legacy he passed across to me. I grew up knowing I had a dangling object in between my legs. Since sex is a natural instinct I started using it.  This has been my source of feeding for the last ten years but friends are advising me to make it business related and make it scarce a little for a better value.

With 30% penetration, these women shout extremely. I wonder if I go 60% what they will do. I spent time washing this tool every morning and after every action. Since it’s usage for partial commercial purpose; only ITOROBONG as stood the test. She swallowed 50% with a loud moan though but I believe her government afterwards. She is also a commercial sex worker who had a bet with her friend that she can swallow half the size. I didn’t know how much the bet was but she gave me N11,000 as compensation for being good to her.

Col Adamu’s wife had always had sexual issues with her husband. It all started when she discovered her husband impregnated another woman during peace keeping exercise in Liberia. She hadn’t allowed her husband touch her for over three months. This made the man randy and the sexual drive made him know outside existed. He looked from street to street in search of anything with a hole. In short, he was a dog……. “The breed I don’t know”.

Auntie Hassana has been wonderful. It has always been a hotel affair. She is the only person that had thought good of me off all my clients. She even suggested I get a two bedroom flat at the outskirt so that she could be coming there. Since Colonel is seeking refuge outside; she is also under my canopy. I serve her double dose every time she is around. She brings food for me and KUNU to replenish the lost milk from the factory. Her body is perfect and I wonder what her husband was looking for outside. If I was rich I could have married her but the fear of Colonel is the beginning of wisdom……

Ekene is a wonderful lady also. Close to my age without a husband, she is obviously frustrated. I service her Congo also every weekend. A bank manager with so much money; I wonder why guys are so blind to her. I guess it’s her pride. Instead of marrying me she still complains I don’t have a job and I drink too much. I pray she will meet the REV FR kind of husband when I’m done panel beating her body. Truthfully whoever marries Ekene is marrying just the body, no more engines.

As for Omotola, the woman I will never forget in a while for the big bum bum and the lovely sound tracks she posses. Omotola is married to Chief Adewale (the business mogul) as the eight wife.  According to the time table the man visits once a month. A man close to his seventies, trying to impress a 29 year old girl, will just slump and die. She discovered me when she went to a hair dressing salon. My talk was with emotions from Mrs Dranger. I didn’t know my performance with her was impressive. I knew she removed her wig and threw away at a time; I just thought it was a mild impression. She gave me only N28,000 after the affair.

My phone rang one evening and it was Omotola. She had invited me to Rockview hotel to view her rock bottom. I told her I don’t have transport fare which she agreed to pay. When I got there she narrated the story at the salon to me and asked me if I can make her feel like a woman again. I laughed out and got into action in a bit. She was first scared when she saw the umbrella size dick rolling out in measure but slowly and professionally I escorted it into her. She wrote a cheque and demanded her turn every weekend.

I have made little money from these adventures though but now I’m going professional. No more free drive. I want to use this medium to tell the following girls that I’m no longer interested in their Indomie sex. They will just bring Indomie to the house and open their legs for me to activate them. Kemi, Polina, Happiness, Joy, Caroline, Bumpy, Gertti, Sandra, Sophia, and lolly, please I now have a fee. Short time, N20,000. For my madams I know you will use your church mind but nothing less than N40,000.

Add the storyteller on 7EF2A15C for more information and stories ……………

SHOULD I GO AHEAD?

We all know break-up circumstances are difficult situations, but when we feel we are doing it for the right cause, we aren’t bothered. Relationships become boring and disgusting statements become the order of the day. You start to realise dictions as native as they were and mouth odours start springing up as excuses. He doesn’t have gist and he is even too far from me. Some excuses come like; he stalks too much and if he does otherwise, he doesn’t even check up on me. No matter what he does there is always something wrong.

When a woman’s mind is made up; there is little or nothing the guy can do. It is a tested scenario but the testimony of Winifred was so amazing. Was she making a mistake or she was doing something good for herself. As the saying goes “don’t marry for money, but go where the rich reside and marry for love”. It was her birthday and everybody’s DP was glowing with her face. It is a perfect face with no wrinkles. Lovely boobs like that of a virgin and the most amazing is the structure of the full body. She was heavenly beautiful; cultured in one of the most amazing families with values. She studied medicine in school which added up to her value but she never allowed that get into her head.

Victor was Winifred’s best friend through medical school. They were best friends since their first year. The friendship was so great that people suspected them at a time but in all truth the closest they have ever been was a kiss. One of those drunk nights. Their house jobs have separated them but they still kept in touch like two love birds trying to reunite. The pictures were changing on victor’s DP and then Chris saw the beautiful face. He called victor in a demand for her BBPIN and particularly her phone number. It took a while before victor accepted. He called Winifred at first for permission which she gave so easily. It wasn’t so easy for victor to agree but he had promised himself never to be jealous over Winifred any longer.

Chris had to travel to Lagos to see her two days after her birthday and he delivered one of the most surprising gifts from a guy in a short while of acceptance as a friend. Chris is a tall dude who inherited three small businesses from his dad in three different states in Nigeria. He is a busy dude with a little bit of money but obviously going to be better with the zeal he is expending on his work. He lost himself in this new found love and gave in everything for her to tune her mind towards him. It took two good months of conviction before the wings of Winifred was curbed in the arms of Chris.  It took another three months for sex to be introduced. When her mind was made up about him he changed a little without getting to know. He has lost five straight months in his work thus he needed to catch up with work. The calls reduced, no more dinner and the funfair was all gone. She understood at first but gradually the whole fun that caused her mind to change was disappearing before her sight and she was acting up in anger and quietness. The whole Chris that was her source of love and life was freezing away with busy schedules and both didn’t see it going.

Their first night was a calculated night. She had made up her mind as he was getting tired of multiple nights of trials without a sex verdict. He needed to be sure those wonderful laps and succulent breast could be diagnosed into a wonderful and greasy entrance also. He has planned the night for a long while now but on her side the plan was different. He tried to get her drunk but he didn’t know she was a fish. She sipped slowly until she started acting irrational. Chris felt he has won tonight as she was high. It was his turn to devour and apologize the next morning but to his surprise when they got to his house she was in charge. She pulled her clothes and stepped into the bathroom for a quick shower and to Chris’s surprise he was invited to join her. The session transformed into the room and the bed wasn’t enough for them. The whole session lasted over three hours and the Kogi girl looked Chris in his face and said baby I want more. The whole night Chris has been waiting for has turned around to haunt him. He played with her a little longer and sleep came. The session continued like that for the next two months and afterwards Chris suddenly discovered he needed to be more serious. He had opened the legs she has kept close for a while now and leaving her in oblivion is like opening a can of sugar in front of ants trying to see if they would lick.

Winifred was in love but Chris was not there.

She had just closed from the hospital one faithful day when this guy rushed in a girl in a pool of blood. The emergency unit rallied all doctors on duty to save the life of this beautiful young model-like girl who had cut her veins in a suicide attempt because she wanted the guy by all means. She had to stay another four hours with the help of other doctors to salvage the situation and save her life. She was asked to question the guy about the incident and from that moment Chris was lost in her head. This guy was perfect in all aspects. If one thought Chris was rich, Manny was wealthy. He was born in wealth and still wealthy. At 33 he had two masters degree and he is in school for his PHD. He graduated from Harvard and his PHD was in Yale. He had an Arabian look mixed with African and his accent was something to build on. The next 3 weeks saw her talking more to Manny than Chris. She wasn’t really expecting Chris’s call again. She now can miss his calls and now he is getting to suspect but she’s not bothered anyway.

 I love Manny and we are getting along. I didn’t allow him wait that much for me to give in everything. I walk naked in front of him and with joy we do everything together. The mum and dad love me also. The mum calls me every day. With Manny; Winifred pays little or no attention to the audience but Chris is still there…

The problem is Chris is coming to Lagos in four days; should I just call it off with him or still hide it?