RED TAPE

It was a perfect plan with no leakages. A brave incidence of contentment mixed with pains. Death is a constant in this mission. The number of people that will die is what the variable becomes. Days and months of planning is about to be carried out in less than thirty minutes. The atmosphere would be put into a deep cry from the ravage about to be done. The spies have confirmed the targets and they are still as loose as ever. We will run through them and kill as many as possible. We were ready and nothing was going to stop us apart from the red tape.

The adventures that led to these feats were mere operational misinterpretations. The pains it has caused can be directed towards displease between the government and the governed. The damages were more mental than physical thus we needed to show them how we felt whichever way. The movement was formed over six months now and from the inception we have all sworn to make an overthrow very soon or we all die in groin of our quietness. But the long awaited day is about to be changed into a spiritual run off by the opposition we have created. In all our plans we worked in cells creating an exposure that is not clear to all. We have been through this most times when one of us ends up being the tattle to the government but this particular day we are so sure nothing was going to stop us until we knew about the red tape.

HBD DAPO ALLEY

The land of DURIN has been known by all to be a land of blessing; a land that flows with milk and honey. Foreigners have always had interest in this land based on the quality of the produce it has established from the days of old. This blessing has now become a curse to us.

The wealth it has generated of late has been siphoned by some cabals called the elites. These elites pride in their evil acts as if they were ordained by God to cheat the poor. We have been quiet enough about these acts and now it’s our turn to act the other way. I can’t forget when my fiancée was taken in the name of welfare. Elders have never paraded shame as much as this in my whole historical stories. Even our gods were bribed and shame was covered with lots of riches. The framework that holds the society I was proud to call mine has been torn apart by nothing but bad leadership. We shall fight it with the last drops of our blood and sweat. Nothing personal but for generations to come and for the nation called DURIN to still be in existence.

The d day was here and all energies were geared together for the rebellious acts we were about to establish. Nothing can stop us not even the so called cabals and there boys until we discovered the red tape.

What could be done? And how fast can we go? We can’t wait another day without achieving this feat we have expended all our energies on. We have become a threat but how come they knew we were coming today. We tried to fish out the mole in us again and know the extent he has sold out but it was impossible for us. The clock keeps ticking and young bloods who are angry for revenge has been placed at different locations to sweep into the whole town and cause the havoc that will earn us our freedom.

HBD MR ENA RAVERRO

The king has been told by the gods of the land that the plan on ground would get him out of the seat. He can’t stop it but he can postpone it. What can he do he demanded the dibia; who consulted for him and suggested except he uses the red tape. The red tape is a tool used in the olden days to postpone an invasion on the town by foreign forces. It makes the town invincible for a while and helps exhaust the strength of the people fighting them. It has only one solution and the only way we can win this way was to locate REBECCA.

The whole land of DURIN has two virgins who were above the age of 21. The cabal has slept with all matured girls. Prostitution became more lucrative than farming. There was nowhere in the world where a woman’s body had powers like in the land of DURIN.  They exhaust the pockets of these men with sexual activities but Rebecca and Thelma kept themselves like saints to be canonized.

We rushed to Rebecca’s house to brief her on the situation of things in the village but we met her absence. Her mother told us she had gone to the stream to fetch water. The speed to the stream was extreme nut we discovered we didn’t see her there. Could she have gone somewhere else? We were confused until we heard a sound from afar in the bush. We slowly trailed it and when we got there we discovered Rebecca has been raped by one the chiefs. We rushed to her side and when we tried to catch the running chief he just put on his arm the red tape and he disappeared.

Blood stains covered REBECCA laps and the pains could be seen in her eyes. With Rebecca out of the equation all hope lie in THELMA. But who would go the king’s court to bring out the princess to support us against his father. It was now a lost course and we were thinking surrender was the only way out until someone raised up his hand ………. His name is NOREE

 

HBD NOREE D BOSS

A LONG STORY

Many a times we use the words “it’s a long story” to cut people off from explaining into details the essence of what they are asking.  The explanations might not be mentally pleasant to us thus we shorten the whole history into these four words. 

It’s been a year we were friends and we had a mutual friend we both share. I knew him first and from the first day I never hid the fact that I like everything about him. Umar was a perfect gentleman with all values a woman will be looking for. This was the first time religion wasn’t a consideration in my emotions. I loved him beyond tribe and religion. A tall and handsome dude who speaks three Nigerian languages fluently will beat one into cadence. 

It was a Friday afternoon; he was coming out of a mosque not so far from my house. I drove and nearly hit him as he was lost on his walk. I shouted at him before I saw the face. When I saw his face I came down and asked if he needs a ride. He hopped into the back seat and there my friend took charge. 

Freda is my name I told him and my stupid friend told him she is Awa. Because I was driving, I had less time to chat and in less than three minutes we got to the place he parked his car. He hopped off the car with multiple thank you and he exchanged numbers with Awa. They started communicating and then my jealousy started. 

From that day men became very irritating to me. The only picture that came to my head was that of Umar and every day was another adventure for Umar and Awa. My hatred for Awa grew bigger by the day and jokingly I told her I was supposed to be the one having all that she was been showered with, and she laughed with a statement thus …. Umar deserves someone better than you Freda that’s why I’m pampering him.  Those words keep ringing in my head from that day. I swore if I can’t have him both of us will not but there relationship was growing stronger. The whole town started getting to know them and there I got pissed the more until that faithful day when umar came home looking for Awa, she wasn’t around. Her phone was also off. He waited a while in the sitting room as he couldn’t run back into his car due to the heavy downpour. I tried to maneuver him in all ways I could but he wouldn’t even look my way. The skirt I wore was the shortest in the world reflecting my thighs and my white panties. I made sure my cleavage was obvious and I removed my bra to expose the more. I was ready for him to come straight inside of me without any caution. But it seems the more I did the less he saw. 

At this moment I tried my last style which was the phone call saga. The call came in from a friend and I started saying the opposite to catch his attention. “It was a callous thing for a guy to treat me that way after spending over four million for him”. This particular call caught his attention and when I ended the call I started crying. He moved closer asking what the problem was. I held unto him closely and let his hand feel my soft butt with real tears dropping from my eyes. He couldn’t resist the softness of my boobs and suddenly I could feel his manhood getting larger and stronger. I dipped my hands inside his trousers and like a hungry lion I started joggling it in my mouth.

The events that followed suit …. is a long story. 

When I was done getting rid of all his clothes and mine I made the couch the center of experiment. We stumbled on ourselves like wild animals on heat period. He tried to caution with talks which I ended up rejecting with kisses. It was in the middle of the moaning that the front door opened and the sight of Awa covered the room. I continued like I was lost in the fun shoving my breast through for no word to come out of his mouth. Awa was mad and she said…….. Freda I’ll never forgive you. She slammed the door and that was the last of her I saw for the next two weeks. 

Umar was concerned about Awa really and I ask why. A guy with a G class Mercedes, as tall as 6’2, with a muscular built and lovely beard, is dying for one girl who has small breast; small fine face and only the ass can pass more than mine. I know one thing; he will come back begging for more. 

I first saw it on instagram; I thought it was a Photoshop. Then I saw it on facebook with comments below

Then I called my grandmother in the ancient city of Benin; the remaining was a long story.

SOMETHING MISSING

Hunger: an elementary stock of painful feelings inside your tummy, which is capable of making one so disturbed and can start irrational behaviours in a short while. That was the state I was when I was driving into town. The Gtbank at Lokoja had swallowed my ATM card which was another problem altogether. We couldn't risk using my uncle's card anywhere else from the city. A little traffic at the check point at Abaji and straight I was in the city of Abuja. I called my fiancée to prepare something for Uncle Richard and I and I've planned the sleep would be very wonderful after I wash up the stress from the journey. 

My music box has always been my phone. I download and play them immediately. I have always loved music. Thus this day my phone was connected to my car stereo. Any call that comes in was on speaker, to help me with driving and receiving a call. Twenty minutes after I told my fiancée we were coming home to eat she returned a call.

I knew she was looking forward to my presence with her at home. I picked and spoke to her through the car speaker and the following was what she said

Fiancée: baby I'm making that kind of special noodles you used to make but I know I'm missing something. I've added curry and maggi. I blended the green pepper with crayfish before adding it and a little onion to spice it up. I sprinkled a little bit of salt to taste and drop of milk to garnish the fluffiness. Two tea spoons of baking powder and Ugwu leaves have been added also. I tried to check the last recipe from Google but network is poor. Baby please what's still missing …………….

I looked at my uncle and

NEXT LIE IS ????

I always waited for my wife to start getting dressed before I go into the bathroom. I hate waiting for her while dressing which is an intentional act of frustrating men. She was seated in front of the dressing mirror when I stepped into the shower. It was when my phone rang that I remembered it wasn’t pass worded at the moment. I wanted to run out but trust has to be built in every relationship not to talk of marriage. Thus I let it ring but I asked who that was and she said just a number.

When I came out of the bathroom I went straight to my phone to check who that could be.  The number wasn't so familiar but in a short while another call came in. This one has a name attached to it. It was a close friend of mine. Sincerely, we were partners in crime. I told her to pick it and put it on speaker for me so that I can do other things and still talk to Femi. The voice that spoke when I called in with a hello was the reason  behind this story. 

I made up my mind to stop these whole acts of sleeping around months before I got married. It wasn’t so easy though but with time I reduced the number to two. When it was a month to my wedding I had only one extra girl I was sleeping with. I was addicted to her. Her frame was the perfect girl for me and she loves everything about my sex. I knew it would be difficult for me to ever leave her and that decision to keep her as a side chick had led to this problem.

The voice was hers and instead of asking if my wife was around she just started ranting on the phone. So you don’t want to pick my call right. Anyway I’m in your friend’s office and he said I can’t abort any longer. Thus it means I am keeping this one. Dr Femi, please explain to your friend and he stupidly started explaining. I looked at my wife and all I could see in her was anger, disgust, hatred, pain and death. When the call finally ended I looked at her and went on my knees with statement “baby, there is another side to the story”………………………

What can you advise him to say?

TEMPTATIONS

The only part of the service I enjoyed was the testimony part. The reports were overwhelming. I believed in God once again but some I doubted it. The first report was great. It was a healing through faith and with the evidences provided I knew it wasn’t a lie. The second guy was a joker. He came up with stuffs like he didn’t have any money and haven’t eaten all day. He walked through three shops to ask for credit purchases but was denied. On the long run he ended up at the ATM machine to just check his account and when he checked he saw eight hundred thousand naira in the account unexpectedly. When he found out who paid later on, it was a fraud he pulled long ago. And he still praised the LORD for that. The pastor reminded everyone about tithes and offering and prayed and that was all about service.

I rushed home as I needed to get to the toilet. The shit needed a comfortable place where smell wasn’t a thing to consider. My wife was used to it but with this pregnancy I don’t think I’ll use the toilet in the bedroom. I was in the visitor’s toilet for more than ten minutes and then I heard a knock on the door. I quickly ended the toilet adventure with air freshener and hurried to open the door. My wife was standing behind me as I opened and saw a lady with an elderly man and one old woman. I knew it was Jehovah witness people the way they were dressed. We greeted as they asked to come in. I asked them what for and they introduced themselves and pointed to their daughter as the reason they were here. We allowed them in and in a bit the narration started.

The man started; oga I wanted to come alone before but in our tradition she must be present the first day I’m meeting my daughter’s husband. She had told us all that happened between both of you and as she must have told you we are from the traditional home of the igudus. Our daughters don’t do abortion else three people in the man’s family will die also with her. Secondly whoever gets her pregnant must marry her. If he denies her he will run mad after seven days with no cure. These statements are not to scare you but to make you understand the implications.

I cut the man short and asked “who is pregnant and who got her pregnant?” I seem not to understand.  The young girl knelt down and called me by my first name; Daniel I don’t intend to do anything to hurt you or your family but when my parents found out and told me all these I had no other option than to bring this into the open.

Now it’s getting more interesting. My wife stood up and asked the girl and her family who is responsible for the pregnancy and in a chorus answer like they planned it pointed at me. She looked at me and yelled wont you say anything Daniel!!! I tried to calm her down and then my questions started. Have I ever seen you before young lady? She answered yes and I asked where. She gave me a rundown of my life; my work place, my hobbies, where I hangout, the things I like, the banks I use and I felt like crying immediately because with these evidences provided I was in deep shit. The only way out was a DNA test but trust was about to leave my marriage from a lie planned from somewhere by someone I can’t figure out.

The elderly man stood up and looked at me….. young man you know the implications. Think about it and get back to us. A word is enough for the wise. They all left and now I have to face my wife and convince her about the whole lie. When I walked into the room her call was to her mother to please come and pick her because she might soon die from the curse I just inflicted on the family. The first temptation; after a supposed church service.

GETTING THE RIGHT PERSON

Recently I got into an argument with a friend and in all time spent I discovered that perception is a tool for seeing differently from another person. It's like beauty that they say it lies in the eyes of the beholder. I went ahead to ask one question what of ugliness? The answer was simple……. Ugliness is just a degree of beauty that drives most into the negative part of our sights. The truth goes further to expatiate that what lies within could cover up for what is on the outside. Which means there are virtues one can have, to cover up with the degree of beauty one possesses. Same with the beautiful people; beauty without brains….. hmmmmm. 

I have a friend who in all realities of love at first sight she would score zero. The beauty and the curves that lie on her face are negative in sight. The defects are not accidental, they are natural. She now lacks the virtues of good socialization but possesses almost all the vices of environmental communication.

We sought a religious explanation to her supposed problems and the session we had with the pastor produced these results

The religious leader listed the following as virtues and vices respectively.

Virtues: humility, liberality and mercy, chastity and continence, patience and meekness, temperance, abstinence and self control, love of God, love of neighbour and love of enemy, fortitude and courage.

The vices are: pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth.

As much as I believe we all understand the virtues just listed I have a conviction that we don't all understand the unethical stands of the vices. He went further by explaining the following as it affects her

No 1 Pride: whenever you see yourself talking about a guy and you say am I your mate or I'm not your class. You have pride in you. That moment you see yourself better than the guy you should have married based on the fact that you see yourself as better than who you really are. You loose on a perception prideful thought. This has affected many ladies who today are thirty and above but don't know where the issue started from. 

No 2 Greed: whenever you wish you had the boyfriend or husband your friend had instead of appreciating the one God has given you, my sister greed has set in. you might end up sleeping with all your friend's boyfriend before you discover you have left your future based on the greed that lies within you. It's a vice try to stop it 

No 3 lust: excessive sexual desire. "Lust detracts from true love". As many ladies read this they know within themselves they are professionals in this particular adventure. Lust is involvement in sexual acts and adventures for no genuine reason. Money is no good reason for lowering your potentials in front of a man. If you persist in these acts; I can be so sure you've made your husband your customer. 

No 4 Anger:  in the Nigerian context you'll hear some ladies with these slogans “he is just so annoying”. I can't stand him any longer. All these are reactions from little incidences that even the devil can forgive and we hold it so strong that we loose our future to a supposed temporary act. For going out there to watch soccer with his friends; you can’t stand him any longer. Hmmm my sister your reward is in heaven. 

No 5 Gluttony: I need to be really particular about this Oliver twist kind of ladies. No man like s you for eating and drinking like a fool. Whenever you are around you are hungry and when he takes you out, you drink more than him and his friends added together. He will definitely run away one day because for him to have savings and build a future; you mustn't exist in his life. 

No 6 Envy: these are people who sorrow over another person's good. When you have sadness over another person's success….. My sister you are envious and you have to stop . It includes both sorrow at the prosperity of others and joy in their hurt. A person who has envy in his heart sorrows at the good fortune of others because she regards it as a hindrance to her own good. The truth is your friend's fiancée wouldn't have married you if he didn't marry her. God will provide for you the real man just stop being envious. 

No 7 Sloth: laziness many don't know is a sin. Some ladies are in the habit iof postponing everything. Even washing of their underwear can be postponed. They are lazy in every other thing apart from pleasure. Sloth is extreme laziness when it comes to God’s issues but it goes further in respect to our environment. They find it so hard to do good because it has no reward and they are loosing a future based on that. 

When he finished he asked her in all truthfulness; how many of this do you think you have as a vice and her response was all. Let’s all take a moment and check ourselves and see how many of these lie within us and then we’ll understand why we need change to affect our future

PERFECTION IS A FLAW

I didn’t believe I was the same person she was talking to. It has not always been like this. Christie has always been a darling girlfriend. It was close to me proposing to her. I took her from the gutters in her pains into the memorable success which she is today and all I can get from her was this humiliation I saw today. 

I was walking down the street whilst publicly chanting to disturb the neighbourhood if anyone wanted my services as a housekeeper. I made an average of N600 a day. My works ranged from cleaning to babysitting, washing of clothes and clearing of grasses. In short I was a GRA (general running around). I was diligent in this work and I prayed one day I would make it so well that my children wouldn’t suffer the same stead which I suffered. It was an unbearable pain for me at first but after a while I got used to it.  Christie was sighted after cleaning chief’s house beside a gutter crying profusely and I wondered what a little girl like her is doing there. I walked towards her and asked what was wrong. She told me her story and the pains in me grew stronger. She had lost all senses of identity as I escorted her to bury her mum a couple of days later. She was all Christie had and now she was gone. There was nothing else. The house was practically empty thus I made a promise to her which I fulfilled. I told her I would sponsor her through school and from the proceeds of my hard work; my first responsibility started.

She moved into my house and I had to be a father and brother to her. It was her senior secondary school days and in two years she was writing her SSCE. I paid and when the result came out she graduated the best in her school. The pains and blisters showed up as the best thing in her result. I prayed and thanked God for giving me the opportunity to be able to partner in her success. It was time for university admission and we did together also. She never joined me in the labour of days that produced the first school fees and resumption in the university seems the hardest thing for me to do. I borrowed money from friends which took me months to pay back but the matriculation was awesome. The glamour of that day was a blessing I would never forget. Days passed and months before she came back home as the first semester has ended. When she came back, she was looking different. Emotion arose within me and I pushed a little towards her for a relationship that would last a lifetime. To me now it was an investment. The day I disvirgined her, we both cried and promised ourselves heaven on earth. Which she also did. The whole aroma of love was scented in the air and the blessing that followed was when someone gave me a car to be using as a taxi. My income increased and taking care of her was easier. Days passed and months passed also and the final exams period started.

My daily contributions was collected and without stress she was about to graduate and I know my first success could now be pronounced. She came out with a 2^nd class upper thus after youth service it was easy for her to get a job. It was at this moment that Christie changed. The sexual part of the whole relationship stopped. Quarrels were easy for her to build and in seconds she reminded me in names calling that I was an illiterate. It was always painful and one faithful she brought a guy home. I was furious when I entered and I saw her sitting on the guys lap with their tongues twisted in each other. I snapped and raised my voice on her. To my surprise, the same good girl I saw sitting beside the gutter the first day I saw her shouted back at me and called me names. She rushed into the room and parked her things. She wrote a cheque of 200,000 naira as a departing gift and that I should never contact her again.

Her final words were “I should look for my mate” …………. Victor I can’t marry an illiterate like you.

So funny how life treats us sometimes and I looked at myself in pains and anguish as tears dropped from my eyes. All my life efforts are gone and God permitted it. Please is it fair what she did to me?