PAINS AND GAINS PART 1

Look around you for a moment, and see how many people are suffering or rather don’t have what you have in excess, look at how many people are homeless, look at how many people are hungry and thirsty, look at how many people are naked, how many young kids are unable to afford education, how many youths are unemployed. This is a reflection of a mirror called Nigeria. We harmonize even in pains. We live in a delusion that needs a sacred hand to possibly alleviate us from this menace. We are multilingual, multiethnic, multi religious and multi problematic in nature.

I abide in this delusional state as well, because I’m also a citizen of this populous nation whose leaders have misplaced the map which could help us sojourn to the Promised Land. The stories are getting worse as we grow older. Everything was better before now, but suddenly: suburbs are trying to take over cities, tenants conflicting with landlords, the rich being kidnapped, corrupt individuals embezzling on constant basis, leaders are careless and heartless, strikes every day, religious crises, hike in fuel price and all commodities and most especially the greatest raw material the nation has which is human resource is left to fallow.

 Everyone wants to be better than the next person, so whichever way it comes they don’t care. Once I can show off to my neighbor I’m better off, I’m good to go. We have become unemployable. We have been left to face a future unprepared for, and the agony we experience is tagged our “fault”.

Let us compare the following living conditions and we would see the irregularities in the things that are supposed to be regular. Imagine some don’t have clean water to drink, while some use bore hole water to wash their cars, while some don’t have transport fare, some roll in convoy, while some can’t find a place to lay their heads, others build bungalows for dogs, while some are looking for food to eat, we most organize buffet and at the end wasting these foods, while some don’t have clothes to wear, others fill their wardrobes with what they will never wear.  All these are stages many climb to get to the top, and now stomp on the grasses that voted the day the jungle was suppose to mature.

I’m Peter Jumbo and I’m a frustrated unemployed youth. The justice I demand today could lead to either my freedom or my death but I don’t care if I would have to pay this way, because I’m sure the blood that is about to be shed would go a long way in helping to cleanse the society we live in. The crime I’m being arrested for is as a result of some people’s negligence when it comes to their responsibility. I have done this for a change to erupt, and I tell you my lord; many more are still to come. 

BARR OSAZE:283ACBAE

I struggled so hard in the university to graduate in the top five in my department. And without any bribery, I was posted to Abuja to serve my nation. The three weeks in camp was made successful by uncles and aunties. I saved like an ant, to show some level of responsibilities to my aged parents in the village. My whole thought was that I can make some money, so I take care of them at least before they die. 

The place of my primary assignment was NBS (national bureau of statistics); the only office where focus is a lost course. They don’t even know how many staffs they have, not to talk of how many students are in secondary school in Nigeria, or how many unemployed youth we have. All records were 1999 or so. And we live in 2005.

 The twelve months was like a blessing in disguise, with promises from many uncles and aunties for job after service; From Asokoro, through Maitama, Wuse 2 , Utako, Jabi, Gwarinpa. Lifecamp, Wuse zones, Garki Areas Idu, Apo, Nyanya, Kubwa, Lugbe to even the unknown factories in Mpape, I submitted my CV in anticipation for a job to spin me out of the lingering poverty in the federal capital.

It got so bad my uncle had to explain how its best I leave his house and get myself a place to stay. He used his daughters as excuse.

Uncle: my daughters are getting too matured for me to be leaving a grown up man like you with them alone every day. The devil is powerful, but has no salvation he said

That meant pack your little belongings and find your bearing. I started moving from one friend’s house to the other. All these in a belief that I would soon be employed.

I slowly became a nuisance and the filings in my shoe were becoming more obvious. My friends and I owed in everything around us: from cabmen to keke NAPEP, from meruwa(water seller) to indomie seller(Aboki). There was no place we didn’t owe for survival to be made possible.

Whenever the hopes seem too deep to cope with, and we pack our things to leave the town; one office would just send a mail, we should come for an interview, and suddenly our hopes are raised again. Not knowing the jobs were fully shared within the elites, before the publicity is made to us the poor.

We suffered to be a graduate, and now we are suffering more being a graduate. I am of this opinion that our parents lied to us that education was our best legacy. If it’s true why are professors not the richest? Is Obasanjo or Dangote an educationist? Or Kanu, or Okocha? Even Tuface dropped out of school when he saw it was disturbing his career, and here we are after wasting our time, acquiring a knowledge we would never use. It seems we are compelled to suffer for it. 

It was after one year in Abuja looking for a job that I decided to join the civil defense. Maybe one of these days I will be an oga at the top. We were demanded to bring along 3500 naira, to purchase a form that doesn't guarantee employment. We tried to seek if it was a foul play, but it seems the more we looked, the less we see. We tried our best after selling some things to pay for the form. The first problem was, it was a photocopied form. And the officer was always telling us he was helping. Desperate moves by desperate people. It was later we discovered the so called officer was doing that to survive. The day for the interview came and we went to the stadium where the test was holding, and when they called our numbers some people came out with original forms and thus ours was the counterfeit. We saw the so called officer and rushed to a police nearby to report.

The officer moved towards him and grabbed him. In our presence he dipped his hands inside his pocket, and gave the police 5000 naira, and the allegation changed from fraud to defamation of character. The officer was about arresting us instead of the person that committed the offense and then I knew there was a skill of survival, and that skill is called lawlessness…….

JUST A FRIEND?

I wish life was a soap opera. I wish I could rewrite that day I met Temi. I wish I didn't go for that party where we first met, so he wouldn't have met a year later. I wish I didn't have a heart also. I wish! I wish! I wish! I can only wish cause it has happened, and the past cannot be undone, but the future can be somewhat planned. I was involved in some real relationships issues then, but I knew on a standard note I was beautiful.

I’m a good looking, sexy, honest, crazy companion, adventurous, funny, troublesome and stubborn woman. My hour glass shape is one that entices men like mosquitoes to human blood. I was raised to be a good woman, wife and mother. I have my flaws no doubt, but I know I'll make a good wife, even those around me say so.

We didn't say much but we took a picture which I held closely and never lost. But that was it till a year later when he came for a mutual friend's wedding. Temi is my brother's friend! Yes! He's a friend of my brother. My brother may be over protective but he certainly cannot marry me. He just needs to be sure am in safe hands. Men know what they do thus they know how to protect their sisters.

I still remember his words to me, as he sweetly dragged my hand inside the reception hall from the car park: "I only came here because of you". And he told my brother: "Dele, I no fit hurt your sister." I was flattered. It had been a year of boring and sad singlehood and none had made my heart pump but those words (simple, plain and general) pumped my heart, and woke all the dead sensual nerves in me. At that instant I knew I was ready for Love again. He was very single, so was I and the expected is a relationship, that will either lead to marriage or not.

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When it comes to relationships, I see myself as unfortunate because my longest so far is a year and I end it most times but it was because I met the wrong guys. Trust me, am not into tall dark slim sexy guys. I date guys not for physical but inner qualities. But Temi not just had the looks and body but he possessed the inner qualities I desired in a man. "A one man one woman guy". I just fell flat for him like fake beer.
That day changed my life forever. We exchanged numbers before exchanging Blackberry pins. Communication was 15/10, we spoke round the clock. Asides our regular never ending chats, there were calls at intervals to hear my voice or me hear his. We became BEST FRIENDS.

We pranked, joked, played and got serious when necessary. We talked about EVERYTHING anyone could ever think of. And saw regularly. I knew I was in like (Love is a strong word) and it was obvious he liked me but what was holding him back? We're 2 different people, while I love taking risk, he didn't. I’m very adventurous while he's a bit uptight. He possessed qualities I desired in a man except the stingy quality. Though he sees himself differently but I don't like stingy people. Here I was extremely ready to accept him that way. Not like anyone is perfect.

After a couple of months, we started this crazy game: TRUTH or DARE. We sent crazy nasty pictures back and forth, talked naughty but never had or did anything naughty. For two uptight and disciplined people, I think we did well. We went all out together. But it wasn't a daily or weekly thing. I did it just because I liked him so much, and wanted him to see if I won't just be good as a mum or cook, but will be good sexually.
Several months passed by and no relationship talks. It dawned on me there will never be so I started withdrawing. But he wouldn't let me go. He kept calling, texting and all. I was too in to come out. I tried talking about him to kill the likeness which used to work for me but this time it didn't. I remember very well a day I decided not to pick his calls, he called me almost 10 times, sent several BBM messages and text messages till I picked. It was a test to know if he'll keep calling or not. He passed it. I did the test again and he passed it. He got me. I must admit which was unusual.

After months of no relationship, and shutting out other wonderful men because my heart was shut to them. I decided to express my feelings so he'll know how glued I was, and to know how fast I needed to unglue myself or start something. I told him how much I liked him, and how he clouded my thought from thinking and considering other men. Then I heard the shocker of my life. I still remember those words: "Wow… I SEE U AS MY SISTER... Our friendship is platonic.... I didn't know I made you think this way.... When did this feeling start?..." I certainly felt like entering the ground and felt most foolish and senseless but I got over it because I knew it was a risk and was open to any result.

In my head was "Does your sister or platonic friend or your Christian sister send you naughty arousing pictures or talk nasty with you? Does she turn you on?" Some men are just selfish.

It was obvious "he didn't/doesn't know what he wants." And "he is not interested in me." But why string me along and not cut me loose?

I gave him space, tried meeting other guys but was aborted as my heart had been stolen by Temi. Oh Temi! I thought he really was mine! I stopped contacting him. Humiliation is terrible. I just let him be. But he called once a while to say "Hi". By this time our friendship had soured and I just answered to not be bitter and kill myself internally.

I went ahead to date my nice sweet friend, Jim, but while with him, my heart was with Temi. At this point, I felt this wasn't ordinary so I prayed about it but the feelings did not die and I got more frequent calls from Temi. I saw myself drawn completely back to him and I left Jim (foolish move, but I did not want to settle like most girls, because I want to change my last name.) With Jim, I knew I was only settling because I desired more.

We became cool friends (Temi and I) again and we talked about nasty things and did the picture thing again. Then he asked me to come over, yes I went.

There I was on his bed feeling fulfilled like a fan would be, if she had a one on one closed door opportunity with her favourite opposite sex celebrity. Guess that's how Tuface became "Father of All Nation." We kissed and got intimate but no penetration. I tried to adjust for it to enter, but he always pulled back. I agreed to his moves completely, and told him all the nice words I could remember. I smiled afterwards; guess I was feeling good to have the opportunity. We cuddled and slept. Hours later he dropped me off at home, and we never spoke about that day.

I came back to my senses after having a therapeutic session with Me, Myself and I. This guy definitely had remote control to my heart which I didn't know. So I took another bold step, called him and said, "...You know what? You just cannot keep playing with my heart like it is a toy so please Temi; I can no longer be your friend." It was easy for him to respect, since I heard from a reliable source that he now has a girlfriend, who obviously is not me. I had lost. All hopes, attempts and desires; gone with the wind.

All the humiliation and going extra mile to please him are all over. Finally I have been delivered. Judge me not. He who has not sinned should cast the first stone. Not till you wear my shoes, you won't know exactly how I felt or the reasons behind my actions.

Please I need your advice: what should I do because it’s really very hard for me to even date someone else. I still have feelings for Temi

MR LECTURER PART 8

08064096873, 287667CA BBPIN; CHARLES IS SINGLE AND AVAILABLE

 

 Mr Osagie was in police cell for five days before he was granted bail. He has started from the height to learn his lesson. With Osagie out of our way, and Adewumi’s ball in our hands, the final target was Uncle Ben. 

I didn’t need Jpapa again, I needed someone more of an actor, and thus I proceeded to the popular Agabalado hostel to seek vengeance. The hostel had a crew of strong hearted guys, who could do anything you think of. Getting close was only the problem. I sneaked my way into their midst as junior picked interest in me. Saying no to sex in this crew seems disrespectful, therefore its better you date one of them, and be secured from the rest.

I told junior how Uncle Ben humiliated me, and he said there was nothing they could do. At this point, I knew Uncle Ben should be one of them or very close to them. I painted the story so well that anger was built in their mind. Junior and frank asked me what I wanted, and I said whatever, but I need him to feel the pains he had caused me.  It was time to frame Uncle Ben up. It would have been easier for them to beat him up, but I don’t need those criminal acts around me. 

Uncle Ben is so smart he leaves no trail on his way. He makes his prey “100 level students’’ and dwell on their naivety to succeed. He has slept with over 100 students and 90% were in their first year in school. He doesn't threaten with failure… sincerely he doesn't fail. He is just too nice, and all it’s used for is open legs.  All the suggestions from junior and his friends seem either too complicated or too simple. We were friends till I was in 300 level, before the final plan came out and that was the end of humiliation to female students in the imperial University of Ibadan.

It was going to be his route against him. You need to be very smart to beat him. School had just resumed and the focus was needed. We need another girl to get very close to him. We thought of what tribe could do this and we got an Ibibio. Emem was the girl. She came into school for fashion and show off. Emem is extremely beautiful, and a subject of pride in womanhood. Uncle Ben came after her, but we were there before him. He told her all his lies but none was going to work, because Emem was fully part of us. 

Emem asked Uncle Ben to marry her if he was serious, and he was really planning to. She pulled him closer to herself; that he lost sight of all other girls on campus. For a whole semester, the so called bad guy lecturer had no other affair, apart from Emem. He was dedicated and committed to his future as he presumed he was on track. The gist ruled the rumors in school when Uncle Ben was kissed by Emem in public. She did that to assure him she wanted it too. I doubted it a lot of times because you can’t be sure of ladies around Uncle Ben. It was a done deal, but we need people to pull the tricks and stand by it.

CONTACT ME FOR HIS DETAILS

Exams were close and Uncle Ben was lecturing both first and second year students. Exam questions are to be kept as secret, particularly from students but not wife or fiancee. Emem’s final assignment was to locate the questions, and leak it to us. She did that four days before the exam was to be written.

The spread was much as almost all students got it. It was sold by junior and his friends so they made it look like it was business from the lecturer. It was going to be an examination like an assignment, and many dullards would still copy the answers into the exams hall. As planned so it was. 

Agabalado boys have arranged many non students; to enter the exam hall to write exams that day.  Carrying ID cards that don’t belong to them, just to show there was a leakage in the papers. In twenty minutes they were done and they left the hall. The invigilators started suspecting foul play as everybody was finishing on time. They stopped the paper and told all students to stand up in lecture hall 4. Same was going on in other lecture halls. Altogether 55 students were caught with the answers to a question which is supposed to be a secret. 

Uncle Ben came out and started ranting. Shouting he needs an explanation. How come my questions leaked? He accused exams and record department for the leakage. He questioned the integrity of the registry, and called for an investigation. He never knew he was about to expose himself. The students that were caught were asked how they got the question, and all pointed at junior and his clique of friends. 

School security harassed them over the question, and their confession was Uncle Ben gave us to sell for him. Uncle Ben looked into their eyes and said he knew nothing about it. Now the registry, exams and records and everyone wrongly accused; demanded an apology from Uncle Ben. He was stunned when his so called girlfriend and fiancée Emem, stood in front of the panel in school and said

Emem: I’m a Christian and my religion doesn't allow me to bear false witness. I and Ben had been having an affair since I resumed, but that is personal. I don’t want him to ruin the lives and future of these students, by denying he didn’t tell them to go and make money for him by selling those questions. We had an argument afterwards, and he told me I don’t know how he survived being a lecturer. I didn’t pray they should catch any of them; but with their future at stake, I think I must say the truth.  I Emem Igobie, do solemnly swear that Ben Opule sold those questions. Thank you

Ben walked out of the panel with tears in his eyes. He was no longer to function in the world of academia. He was dismissed and the girl he has loved the most had helped in his downfall. I am happy I’m writing these because many more ladies like me couldn’t stand up to pay them back in coins even bigger than theirs. My name is Ijeoma Bello and I’m also a lecturer’s wife….. I wish my husband reads this cos his stories are getting too much